I don’t know what you would be like today.
Nine years old,
scuffed up knees and shoes, perhaps.
A crooked smile with many missing teeth
and a sparkle in your eyes that speaks of mischief and love all mingled into the deep blue of them.
I don’t know.
I’m just guessing.
Maybe your hair would be light still,
or perhaps it would be darkening to the same colour as your Dad’s
and you might be tall
or maybe not.
You would be determined.
When I imagine you into being I understand that would be a part of your character.
All I know is that tiny newborn boy who fought every day for his life
and then that sweet baby boy
whose life light I watched snuff out
but that doesn’t stop me wondering who you would be today on your birthday.
I’m celebrating you.
I’m thinking of you -
even as the world keeps on turning on its axis year in and year out -
even when everyone else forgets.
I’ll remember the gifts you gave me,
hang onto each memory of the day you came into my life
and try not to miss you too much -
just for today
because today is a good day.
Those days of darkness will come this week
but for today I will eat cake and celebrate
for the boy who would be nine.
This time last year the girl missed her Easter Hat Parade and I missed Noah.
Brilliantly, through the miracle of technology,
the parade was streamed into Ivy’s hospital room
and the Starlight Captains held a private parade for her and her inmates
but this year
the doctors pulled out all the stops and by the grace of half an hour we made it
and the pair were collectively happy.
This photo was taken a few days ago,
on the completion of the Easter hats -
a just in case photo -
just in case.
This photo was taken this afternoon.
After being Nil By Mouth, having a general anaesthetic, her immunoglobulin infusion,
and a pesky impacted tooth pulled
the girl recovered just enough to make the march (swollen face and all)
and then collapsed in exhausted happiness.
The boy (although becoming quite adept at avoiding my camera) was very glad to see us there.
He was quietly happy too
and so we celebrated the great second grade Easter Hat Parade together.
I think the gentle anaesthetist said it best -
“if only we all had as much pluck as Ivy, then the world would be an amazing place”.
ours was definitely amazing today.
Hoping you all have a happy Easter -
however you celebrate this time.
Noah: so, tell me about him.
Immy: well, his name is ["Fred"]
Immy: and he’s my friend
Immy: and nothing. That’s it. Why, what else did you need to know?
Noah: well, is he a super hero, or something?
Can he shoot fire from his fists?
Can he fly?
Immy: No, Noah but he can sing.
Noah: Um, sorry, if he hasn’t got super powers then he’s just not good enough for you.
Noah – the ultimate judge in boyfriends.