Category Archive
The following is a list of all entries from the wig out category.
Crazy…
Filed in Ivy - girl, Loss of a baby, Sleep deprivation, grief, wig out, May 21, 2008, 10:09 pmI know you all know I’m crazy, right?
So it will be totally safe to tell you that I have been having these awful nightmares and you will accept that just as you accept that I am as nutty as a fruitcake.
Nightmares are a recent addition for me, as an adult. Sure, I had them as […]
When you live in the boonies…
Filed in Health, illness, I hate prednisone club, Ivy - girl, country living, doctor related posts, ugh!, wig out, worry, May 8, 2008, 4:22 pm…and you need to have your daughter seen by an endocrinologist, expect that you will wait a very, very long time.
What is your best bet, for a waiting time, my friends?
Six weeks?
No.
Try six months!
That’s right, six months, that will see us just about up to Ivy and Noah’s 3rd birthday
in November.
The paed’s idea that we […]
I’m not hip with that.
Filed in Daily life, pre teen angst, twins, wig out, May 7, 2008, 5:59 pmMy almost twelve year old twins have just come home and announced to me that they are going out with two equally hormonal, prepubescent boys.
Best friends.
Boys.
Double dating my girls.
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Boy germs.
It wasn’t that long ago that we used to tease each other about boy germs if an offending species of the male variety brushed up against […]
About becoming a shut-in…
Filed in blah blah blah, ponderings, wig out, May 2, 2008, 1:19 pmSeriously.
We are supposed to be going to a wedding this weekend but I haven’t seen my friend for so long now, I feel that I shouldn’t go. Besides that, when I think about getting out amongst people my heart jumps into my throat. The thought of mingling with other people makes me nervous.
Sick nervous.
It hasn’t always been […]
On sickness, not going away and breaking point…
Filed in Health, illness, Loss of a baby, hurting, ponderings, wig out, March 12, 2008, 10:27 amIt seems that Ivy and I have relaxed just enough to make us both sick.
She physically and me emotionally.
I am not sure I can cope with her being unwell now.
Not now.
Not any time in the next six weeks or so.
But she is.
And I have to deal with it.
Because.
Just because I am the mother.
Yesterday I had […]
More thoughts… and an update on the ugly.
Filed in Health, illness, I hate prednisone club, Loss of a baby, doctor related posts, hurting, ugh!, wig out, worry, February 23, 2008, 9:27 amWhen I gave up my son to the unforgiving universe, I thought that I had paid whatever penance I needed to, that whatever wrong I had done in my life had been forgiven, when I let him go.
These are strong words, my friends and if they are too painful or heavy then, please don’t read. […]
The good, the bad and the ugly part 2.
Filed in Health, illness, doctor related posts, hurting, ugh!, wig out, February 22, 2008, 3:35 pmThere is no good
or bad
just very very ugly.
More later when I have licked my wounds.
Thoughts…
Filed in children, family, hurting, wig out, February 16, 2008, 7:35 pmI have been really pent up.
Hurting over the insinuations of Ivy’s colonoscopy reults.
Even though I have been cleared.
Last night it was all I could think about.
Here’s the thing,
I was abused.
Take that for what you will.
The foster boys, who are in my care, were abused.
I have spent my whole adult life running from parts of my childhood. […]
Tuesday tension.
Filed in Health, illness, colonoscopy, doctor related posts, endoscopy, money, ugh!, wig out, worry, February 5, 2008, 11:58 amIs it Tuesday already?
It can’t be.
I’m not ready for tomorrow or Thursday.
I don’t think Ivy will ever be ready…
The paperwork for the procedure came yesterday. No cover letter, nothing so friendly. Just three pieces of paper, the first being the doctors fee.
By the time I had finished reading just that alone, I felt like I […]
Random thoughts of an insomniac gone mad.
Filed in Health, illness, Loss of a baby, Sleep deprivation, doctor related posts, hurting, wig out, worry, January 31, 2008, 5:50 am… Maybe I am crazy…
Everything about this nightmare is wrong. Why can’t I help her? Why? I feel out of control, powerless. I can only imagine what she is going through.
When William was born my whole life changed. I have felt as though I have been falling ever since.
That night, that night, when the NICU […]
