Category Archive
The following is a list of all entries from the grief category.
The empty chair.
Filed in Loss of a baby, grief, August 12, 2008, 6:14 pmHe’s missing.
From my table.
Our table has eight seats and one is always empty.
He’s missing from our lives.
He should be there, amongst the noise and the blur of colour, hands in with the others, hands in the mess of fish and chips.
Hands greasy, mouth full of fat- laden -weekend comfort food.
He’s missing from the weekend activities, […]
Glow In The Woods 6 x 6
Filed in Loss of a baby, grief, July 2, 2008, 9:30 pmThere is a site that I have been frequenting.
I go there most days.
It is a place I feel as though I belong.
A place I can grieve.
Every day if I want to.
I can reflect on the feelings that interrupt my day, instead of pushing them away.
Six questions have been asked and today I will answer them here.
Today […]
Dentist week and William’s notes.
Filed in Ectodermal Dysplasia, Loss of a baby, birth, grateful, grief, May 23, 2008, 6:55 amI wish I could name names sometimes because yesterday I took Ivy and Noah to the dentist.
Not just any dentist but the best dentist in the world.
She was lovely. thorough and has brought us one giant step closer to havivg a type of Ectodermal Dysplasia for Ivy and Imogen.
I’m not really sure what having a […]
Crazy…
Filed in Ivy - girl, Loss of a baby, Sleep deprivation, grief, wig out, May 21, 2008, 10:09 pmI know you all know I’m crazy, right?
So it will be totally safe to tell you that I have been having these awful nightmares and you will accept that just as you accept that I am as nutty as a fruitcake.
Nightmares are a recent addition for me, as an adult. Sure, I had them as […]
The club nobody wants to belong to…
Filed in Loss of a baby, grief, May 13, 2008, 9:21 amI couldn’t sleep last night.
The kids all came home from school with tales of a friend, whose baby brother had died,last week, at two months, from SIDS. They didn’t know when she would be back at school but they did know how strange it would be for her.
They all came to me seperately with questions and […]
And so…
Filed in Loss of a baby, Love, grief, hurting, April 7, 2008, 10:31 am…the morning came that William had to die.
We were able to hold him.
Feel his weight, take in his smell, wonder at his features, commit them to memory.
Were were together for the first time in days and for the last time in this lifetime.
We dressed him in his ‘going home’ outfit and took him off the ventilator.
My […]
One moment in time.
Filed in Loss of a baby, Love, grief, hurting, April 6, 2008, 9:58 amFour years ago today we had been told that William had critical aortic valve stenosis.
It was a discovery by accident.
The neonatologist had come to us and said his heart was not beating properly but that they would give him medication to fix it. We had experienced a wonderful day with William awake and responding. I […]
I never asked for him to live.
Filed in Loss of a baby, grief, hurting, April 4, 2008, 8:48 amI never asked that he be saved, that we be spared the awfulness of his death.
I had not prayed in such a long time but when I did; when I finally closed my eyes and spoke to whoever that higher power is, I asked for strength and peace to get me through what needed to be […]
Dear William,
Filed in Loss of a baby, Love, grief, April 3, 2008, 4:04 pmDear William,
Wow, you’re four years old. Where has that time gone? It has disappeared into the days, months, years since you came and left. Five days is not alot to have you in my life but they are five days I will cherish forever.
It’s hard to imagine what you would look like now, although when I look […]
Reflections.
Filed in Loss of a baby, celebrations!, family, grief, April 2, 2008, 10:42 pmApril 2nd is always going to be a big day. It should be. It’s our son’s birthday.
After alot of worry and tears we settled on a late lunch on the beach. We had a cake and we sang happy birthday to our angel boy.
It was sweet.
He made his presence felt with the very low fly […]
