If there were no internet

and no blog

life for me would be very insular.

One of the main reasons I started to write online was because of my isolation

and yet isolation seems to be the order of the day.

There have been a lot of blog posts flicking around lately on

writing about your children online

and how disclosing information is not in their best interests -

which might be true.

There have been bloggers who condemn the very things that I write about -

talking about Ivy’s illness online, well, that cheeses some people off, apparently.

In fact, as far as they are concerned,

no parent ever should reach out into the online world

looking for answers and like minded people who are going through a similar thing.

Apparently that’s wrong.

It’s okay for them to write about their own conditions online

because that’s their choice.

They can garner as much strength from their online community because they are talking about themselves

but a mother trying to get through life with a chronically ill child -

forget it

because writing about the child, however discreet it may be,

is taking away their right to privacy.

Which might also be true.

Not that I’ve ever been ‘discreet’ about my kids

No pseudonyms,

no ‘only taking photos of the children from the shoulders down’ (well, sometimes, in the name of art)

no trying to hide their identity.

I mean, honestly

some of the people who harp on the most about these kinds of things

then turn around and do a double page spread in a national newspaper,

a family photo sprawled across the feature, with a link to their blog and the suburb they reside in

in widely read magazines

or I see them on national television talking about their blog and their children.

So, it’s okay to have a photo of your kids in newspapers and magazines

and on the TV

but not on the internet?

That’s bizarre to me -

especially when media today has taken a large turn towards being online.

They talk about sick weirdoes but

sick weidoes are everywhere,

not just on the internet.

Some of the most well known pedophiles

are priests

television presenters

actors

teachers

doctors

neighbours

people who you should be able to trust.

It’s just not as simple as switching off your computer and never posting about your children anywhere online

ever again.

There are sick people everywhere.

Aside from that – it’s really not that hard to track down a person, work out who a person is.

Even if you don’t photograph your kids’ faces

or if you use aliases -

you don’t need a lot of information.

Look at all of those bloggers who have been scrutinised lately

when average, every day people do a little research and find their earnings and their debt amount

and then splash that around  in forums and such.

I’m sure that is not freely disclosed in the scratchings of a post

and yet someone, somewhere thought to look.

Look at child abductions and pedophilia rings

before the internet was a thing.

Evil has always existed throughout time,

so why are we suddenly blaming ‘Mummy bloggers’ for making things worse.

We sign permission for our kids to be photographed at school, for goodness sake.

When we fill in paperwork for day care or enrolment at school

when we fill in forms at the paediatrician’s office

that is willingly giving away information.

That is giving away your so called privacy.

The minute we open up our lives to a person we expose ourselves and our families to another human being,

who will most probably go and tell another family member,

or a friend in the playground,

or a colleague

and soon everyone knows your story.

Privacy?

Please.

Unless you are prepared to keep your children home and never go out into the world at large

there is no privacy.

For the record,

I don’t want to expose my kids to anything that will harm them

any more than the next person.

I ask permission to write about my older kids

and have recently sought the same from Ivy and from Noah,

although I’m not too sure if they understand what they are agreeing to yet,

they know I have a blog and that I like to write about them.

My family (including David) have been largely supportive (and proud) of my of my six year blogging habit

and how it has helped  to connect with other mothers who are going through similar things

and how it has helped me to come out of my shell again after losing my baby

and how it has opened up a world of (all be it small) philanthropy

and helping other people

and how that gives me a feeling of worth.

Darn it, I’ve even made some real life friends out of it.

If every single person

who ever wrote something about their child on the internet

suddenly removed all trace of their thoughts

would the privacy rate go up?

Would bad things stop happening?

I doubt it.

Human beings are social creatures

and sooner or later someone would say something to another person

and the cycle of disclosure would begin again.

So, will I continue to write about my kids online?

Probably.

Will I continue to photograph my children’s faces and ‘splash’ them all over Facebook.

Yes

because without the connection of other humans

(and for some of us that connection is mostly through the internet due to proximity, uncertainty, life skills and availability)

what is the point of existing at all?

Why have life when you cannot share it -

your hopes,

your fears,

your triumphs (my children)

your low points -

if it doesn’t matter to anyone else but you

then does it really matter at all.

My children are a large part of my life

and their tales are mine too.

Without them

there would be no Circus

there would be nothing beyond a 40 year old woman living out in the sticks somewhere.

People are so intertwined,

how can we divulge of ourselves without including the lives of others.

That would make no sense at all.