My mum phoned me a few days ago and asked me if I had quit blogging.
I told her I didn’t know.
For the last three and a bit weeks I’ve been weighing up the pros and cons
but between the two lists,
neither came out in front
and I wanted to be able to write when I felt like I could deal with any negative comments that might be thrown my way.
I wanted some time to grow some thicker skin.
Whether I have or not, I’m not sure.
It’s something that a lot of bloggers go through, it seems – the waxing and waning.
In those three weeks some amazing things have happened -
Mal’s birthday for one,
the girl’s feet have grown for another. In fact, the girl has just grown altogether
and then there’s
catching up with some of our oldest friends,
an interview with ABC Newcastle about the importance of blood donation (but more so, meeting a group of over 80 people committed to donating blood in Ivy’s name),
having an article published on Mamamia for Starlight
and one published in Practical Parenting magazine for the Australian Red Cross Blood Service,
seeing one of my photos (and Ivy’s sweet face) published in some major national magazines for Starlight too
and finally there was this:
which is tomorrow.
You can help by purchasing some merchandise from Myer or Big W (if you’re in Australia) or from any of the volunteers who will be around on the day
or you can make a donation through their website.
Money raised supports them in being able to help sick children Australia wide.
Channel nine have always been very good to Ivy and this was no different.
They seem to pride themselves on rallying for a cause and for us, that includes blood donation and Starlight)
I’m very thankful that they make time for these important organisations.
(Ivy loved being in hair and make-up)
Everyone was so very lovely and helped the small girl (and I) to feel at ease and made her feel as though she was very special indeed.
She especially loved talking to ‘the fashion police’ and the hair stylists
and loved Paula (who blogs here).
Paula was so beautiful with Ivy. It was lovely to see her coming out of her shell because of it.
We were also able to spend some time with the gorgeous Yvette, who has been such a big part of our journey
and who I have had the honour to know for a few years now through blogging and social media.
Mal and she got on very well.
Noah, who was insistent that he needed to be on TV too suddenly became very nervous when he and the other kids were invited onto the set
but he managed to wave to the viewers anyway.
All in all it was a great morning and a wonderful opportunity ( Ivy and Rarfie are both feeling quite famous, right about now)
and there have been many other lovely days in between.
Of course along with all of the good there have been some not so amazing things too -
a sick little girl,
an emergency hospital admission,
a fairly lack lustre recovery.
Worry for one of my girls and a starting of anti anxiety medication for her
and the sadness of losing another much loved relative.
One of Ivy’s special friends fighting for her life in the ICU
and watching her Mum (and my friend) go through hell as she waited and hoped for the very best outcome.
I thought about writing
but the words wouldn’t come
and so I left it
and enjoyed my kids being on school holidays
but the other day,
my mother said the one thing that made sense to me about all of this blogging stuff.
This is a record.
It is documentation of how life has been over the last six and a bit years -
the good, the bad, the psychotic,
the happy, the lonely, the angry,
the grief, the thankfulness, the wonder -
it’s all here
and so I decided to sit behind my screen and write.
Like me or not -
You might think I have the most depressing blog on the internet
or that I am attention seeking (or whatever other unkind thing you can think of )
and that’s okay
because this is what I need to do for me.
This is how I’m getting through life with a large family, including fostering my sister’s two boys,
living with a seriously ill little girl, all of the feelings and emotions that go along with it
and making the most of everything that I am blessed with too
and I want to keep a history of that.
Life is never smooth sailing. It’s full of ups and downs -
as are people’s emotions.
There are not many in this world who haven’t had a bad day
or a few in a row
or maybe had life get the better of them at some stage.
We all have our own stories to tell
and this is mine.