The end of the year is closing in on us.
Forth term has started and the thing about forth term
is that it seems to fly by.
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking lately about this year and how much school Ivy has missed
and how much Noah has struggled
and whether they are in a good position academically to move onto the second grade.
I repeated the girls the year after Will died
because they (and I) functioned so poorly that I felt it would be wrong to send them on.
I met so much opposition from their school, about wanting to repeat them that I had no choice but to pull them out
and start again at another.
It seems that doing the year over is strongly frowned upon amongst teachers.
David (having repeated a grade too) felt the opposite to me as well.
He thought they should move forward with their peers and not be forced into the same social situation that he was.
Still, once the choice was made, the girls coped admirably and did well
so I knew it was the right one.
I’m not one to shy away from such decisions if I have to make them again.
I talked to Ivy and Noah about it, while we were on holidays.
The girl shrugged her shoulders and said she thought repeating was something she would do
but Noah was mortified.
The difference, I think, is that Noah has had all that time to make good friends
and build his social circle
and Ivy hasn’t.
She has gone from having a few good girlfriends in the playground
to relying heavily on Noah when she is at school.
Don’t get me wrong -
the kids are all lovely to her
but she seems to have lost her confidence in her ability to keep friends.
From talking with other parents who have immune deficient kids, this seems to be common.
I wish that it weren’t but it makes sense,
considering she has only averaged three weeks out of each term this year.
The fact that she slips back into class easily and has not fallen behind in her work
is a pretty neat skill
but is that enough?
Noah is in the opposite position altogether.
He has struggled with keeping up with his work and understanding of key concepts
because of his now diagnosed dyslexia and Irlen syndrome
but socially he’s good.
The question is – is it going to be in their best interests to repeat them?
I can’t guarantee that anything will be different for Ivy next year
so which is going to be better – pushing her forward or holding her back
She can’t keep on doing the first grade over and over until she’s done enough time
but has she done enough to be able to cope with second grade
and for Noah,
would I be doing him a social injustice holding him back
so that he can possibly catch up academically
or should I just let him move up and hope that he will improve.
Here are some things I do know:
I won’t put one up a grade and hold the other back – they’re twins and I think they should stick together regardless of what decision is made.
I’m not sure about separating them next year in class and that adds another layer into an already complicated thought process.
This is certainly not as clear cut for me as it was when I chose to repeat Immy and Maddy.
I have a meeting with the teachers next week to hear their ideas.
Until then, I’d really like to hear your thoughts.
Did you repeat a grade at school?
Was it okay or did you think it was awful
or have you made the decision to repeat your child?
Did they cope okay
and if you had to do it again, would you?
To repeat or not to repeat is the question.