Piglet.
” Oh Owl, I don’t mean to complain but I’m frightened. I’m scared.” Piglet from Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day
The day I turned forty I followed through on a dare
and I went and had my nose pierced.
It hurt alot
and my nose didn’t want to stop bleeding
but I felt bold and strong
because I’d done it.
I went back to the beach house, showered and looked at it in the mirror.
The little diamond stone sparkled and caught the light.
I’d never done anything like it.
The day before the big girls paid for me to have my eyelashes tinted and my eyebrows shaped.
Dave bought me my first ever ‘little black dress’
and I wore it, along with my pierced nose
out to dinner.
I felt really pretty.
I could count on one hand the number of times in my life that I felt pretty.
Regardless of what others say
you know,
there is that that little voice inside your head -
that moderator who whispers in your ear.
Most of the time it’s my father.
He tells me I’m ugly and no good and worthless
but that night
it felt like there was someone else
and she said;
‘you look nice’.
It felt really good.
I felt good
but two days later I took the piercing out.
It hurt a little
but if I’m honest
I took it out because the worry about what others would think of me won
over what I thought of me.
I worried about what my Mum would say.
I worried that the doctors wouldn’t take me seriously the next time I had to discuss Ivy issues with them.
I stressed about looking like an older woman trying to look like a younger one :
mutton dressed as lamb
and that others would think the same.
I would never think that of another woman with a nose stud -
I’ve always admired them quietly
but this was me.
I looked in the same mirror at the beach house that I had two nights before
and thought I had no right to something so exotic
so beautiful
and I took it out,
leaving just a bright dot of blood there instead.
The next day I felt angry with myself and sad too.
Why do I always worry about what others think?
Why am I always so afraid to just be me.
Or maybe this is me -
the Piglet in this world.
It’s exhausting always living in fear and I often want to change it
but I can’t seem to let the small frightened animal in me go.
I thought when I turned 30 I would have the confidence to not care what others thought of me
but it didn’t happen
and then, now, I thought that forty would be that time when I could let all of those worries go
but I’m still the same.
Just older.
Just an older version of who I always was
minus the beautiful diamond stone.
I don’t know what to say.
For me, you are so beautiful, inside and out. I am so glad to have you as my friend.
aww
I wanted a nose piercing, but rish doesn’t like them :/
But Im sure you are beautiful xx
I have never seen you as a piglet. Never as something riddled with fear. You have always been strong and sensible and safe, smart and stable.
When I think of the piercing, I think of being daring. A little sparkly statement to show that as well as being all those things, you are not afraid. Not afraid of taking risks, of having fun. Of living. I don’t know who you were trying to prove. Your family, Friends, perfect strangers. Maybe you were trying to prove it to yourself.
I wish I could have bottled the smile on your face and the sparkle in your eye the night we went out. I wish you could feel that was all the time, everyday because to me you have always, always been so much more than the piglet in this world
To me, the diamond stone isn’t what is beautiful. You are.
Oh it looked beautiful! I have a huge nose and envy people who have a pretty one that is enhanced by a nose stud.
You know what you really need though. A tattoo! Mine was the best decision I ever made. It reminds me every day of who I am.
I think I my has covered this well and taken some of the words out of my mouth. I can understand your feeling of worry of what others would think of you, but honestly it has not changed who your are, what you mean to people, what you believe in or stand for.
It was a fun moment with your daughters to add some ‘extra’ sparkle to yourself…….. You sparkle with or without diamonds!
I too wish I could of seen your confidence n happiness shine in your lil black number with extra sparkle! Xx
You are beautiful,strong,brave and daring.
I admire you so.
I wish you had the confidence in yourself.
I love you my friend xxxxxxxx
You are beautiful just as you are my friend , stud or not.
It wouldn’t change my opinion of you .
Tiff you are such a brave and strong woman with or without the nose piercing although I wish you had had the confidence to keep it in.
I really like Immy’s comment, its really lovely x
One of the best pieces of advice I ever heard was “You wouldn’t worry so much about what other people thought of you, if you realised how little they did.” Go out and repierce that beautiful nose of yours! I turned 38 today and went out and got my lip repierced as thought I was too young to give it up! After a few months you will forget you even have it.
Do it!! xxxRenae
Doing something to follow through on a dare probably indicates that it’s something you don’t really want, no matter how much you tell yourself otherwise.
If a nose piercing was what you wanted no matter what, it would have been done without the need for a dare, and you wouldn’t have taken it out. Worrying about what others think doesn’t come into it, when it’s something you absolutely must have.
Either way, you are still you and still beautiful.
Maybe try a little stick on bling when you want a bit of sparkle to go with your little black dress.
You knew what I would say & I said it, but in all honesty it really doesn’t matter one iota what I or anyone else thinks or says. You do these things for yourself, not anyone else. Only you can make these choices and having made this one for a nose stud, you should have the courage of your convictions and stick with it. Just as you did when you had your tattoo done!
I wish you could see your beauty as I do when you look in a mirror, but seriously if you feel beautiful and courageous with that stud, then you really do need to replace it. Let it be a symbol of self esteem and confidence, so that you can hold on to the knowledge that you are indeed beautiful.
Don’t be frightened or scared but wear it with pride to overcome the fear and be true to the self you know you can be.
You are the owl and most definitely NOT the piglet! xoxo
I wish I could say something to convince you that the only opinions that matter are the ones that are only positive and that come from those who love you.
You are such a strong, amazing woman, I wish you could see that.
I wish that you could feel comfortable doing what makes you happy.
Because you are fabulous and deserve some happiness.
And I thought hooray for getting a nose ring – good on you!!
You are fearless, you just don’t realise xx
Pop it back in
xxx
I went through a similar thing. Had my nose pierced, took it out because I was afraid of what others would think of me. Then I realised hat for years, when I pictured myself in my head, I had my nose pierced. So I got it redone. And LOVE it.
I hope the time comes for you.
You are lovely! I am 50 and I always have worried what people think of me and lack confidence. But I think being that type of person helps you to have empathy for others and be sensitive to the feelings of others, you obviously have those attributes in abundance so maybe lacking a bit in confidence helps you to understand how others feel and contributes to you being such a caring, thoughtful person.
Oh I know how you feel. Whether a nose ring, trendy Sunnys or a bright lippy… the voice says ” who do you think you are?” our old tormenter. But where are they now? Could they do what we do? Have they achieved what we have? That person is probably the same pissy misery they always were. Don’t get to be 50 or 60 to do your thing. It’s so hard. I always find it easier to do things for others than take care of myself so I put it a different way….I don’t want my kids to inherit my insecurities or so I do it for them. I’m taking better care of myself so I can be there for them ie that old analogy of putting your own oxygen mask on first. I would usually give up if i did it solely for me. Be confident, be your best self if you want the people around you to do that to. Break the chain love xo
SO disappointed….I wanted to see your diamond stud……you ARE beautiful, and NO ONE has ANY right to criticise you or what you choose to do with YOUR body.
Love you xoxox
I believe a nose stud is no different to any adornment we females like to play with – hair colour, make-up, rings on our fingers, toe-nail polish. I hope you wear it again – it may not be forever – but enjoy it for now, for you.
Hello
Your post made me sad… describing how much you enjoyed your noise stud experiencing and then following the (father / society) voice in your head is very sad.
I have multiple tattoos and OFTEN people ask me if I won’t regret it when I am older. I only started in my 30′s and I turn 40 next year and I like to believe that I will always be me and that an older version of me will still love me.
However, I honestly am not big on what the world thinks of me. Not just words… I like the beat of my own drum. I do however feel limited to do what I really would like to do, more tattoos and I would love an eye brow piercing but my husband is quite conservative. lol poor guy. So, we shall see where the future leads.
You don’t need a diamond, because you sparkle so much without even needing one. (I know, I’m reading that back to myself and it sounds really cheesy, but it’s true!)
I know the feeling though.
At the end of July I went for a girls night out for the first time with the close friends I’ve made since moving here three years ago. It’s the first time we’ve all managed to get sitters the same night. I got my hair done, and one of my friends even treated us to her friend coming over to do our make up.
For the first time (ha, I’m saying that a lot!) in probably around ten years, I actually genuinely felt like I looked as good as my other friends. I was glammed up, looked great, and felt great.
I was on a high for that for a few weeks, but then it wore off, as it always does.
We’re going out again next weekend (boys are at their dad’s… freedom!) and so I’m doing the whole thing again. I just hope I feel as good this time around!
I got my first tattoos last week. I was terrified, and it’s something I’ve always wanted, but never could settle on anything until the last year or so.
So I got “create” and “love” done in gorgeous scriptive text on my wrists. I love them (though they’re SO itchy!) and am so glad I got them. My mum hates them. But you know what? It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t like them, because that doesn’t mean she doesn’t like me!
Amazing how much we worry about what others think of us when really what we should be thinking of is making our selves happy.
Oh so this was a bit of a ramble… hope it gave your mind a wee wander, like it did mine.
Love always, I don’t always comment, but I’m always here. xxx
Oh Tiffany!
I wish you had left it in! I have always wanted to get one as well. I am 55 and I really don’t care how it looks, the only reason I don’t get it is because of the children I work with . I am really worried one of them will pull it out as they like to grab hair and noses. And to be honest, I am afraid of the pain, but you already had the pain part licked.
I wish you could have left it in.
Lisa
I’ve also always wondered about a nose piercing, but it jut wouldn’t be right for where I work.
don’t forget that.
I do however love my tattoo that I did for my 40th year.
Glad you felt beautiful that evening… thing is… it didn’t take all that much effort for you to feel that way, it’s not about the nose piercing… which actually means that you are beautiful
Please put it back in – it’s gorgeous, as are you!
I don’t have one, but have always fantasised about getting one, but fear it will make my long nose look longer. Gah – it’s bloody depressing how many things the fear factor – and the care what other people think factor – can put the kybosh on.
Wear whatever you feel comfortable in, but try not to let others dictate that comfort level (and I’ll try to take my own advice – far easier handed out than followed, ahem).
And happy birthday!
Agree with Leigh – put it back in, and fake it until you make it with the not caring. You are beautiful, and it looks lovely on you.
Its a brain habit! If you start *acting* like you don’t care, very soon you *won’t* care. Its like bravery – the braver you act, the more things you do, and the braver you get.
An older version of who I always was… yes, I have begun to realize this and it makes me a bit sad about myself.
But it also makes me think that other people may not have it as together as I think they do either. Especially people older than myself. I guess we’re all in it together.