Dear teenage girls,
This is a letter of apology from me to you.
Please don’t blame Imogen and Madeline,
it was me who asked them to downsize their 16th celebrations.
They did it for me.
They did it because this year has been so crazy with hospitalisations and sickness
and I’m tired
and our family is struggling to pick up the slack.
That might seem like a convenient excuse to you
but it’s true.
It wasn’t that they didn’t want to invite every single person they could,
it’s that it wasn’t possible.
We couldn’t afford a big party in a hall, after eight weeks in hospital -
one day, some of you might understand how hard it is to make ends meet, although I sincerely hope that you never do
and a bonfire in the back yard in the middle of Winter, with questionable weather seemed like a bad idea to me.
As a parent, you feel responsible for everyone who walks into your home – you care for each one.
It’s because they are good girls and wanted to consider their mother that they agreed.
In the end,
it was just a sleepover,
with just a few girls,
some pizza and a movie
and two of the girls were there for Lily because it was her birthday too.
There were no gifts and no cake either.
I’m sorry, really I am -
because now my girls are upset.
I’ve inadvertently caused a riff between the people who mean the most to them.
Their friends – who they thought would understand
but I get it,
you all feel as though you have been excluded, singled out in some way.
That’s part of growing into yourself, learning that the world is about more than you
but that takes time.
I do know that.
I should have just had you all over and be done with it.
I feel terrible that my girls are hurting
and I’m sorry you are all hurting too
and if I could change things, I would.
Believe me, I would
and so, I’m sorry.
In more ways than you (care to) know.