A little less moley.
I’ve had these two moles on my face for as long as I can remember.
I can’t remember them not being there but I have photos of me as a young child where my face is clear of them.
I have memories of kids teasing me and calling me ‘Witchypoo’ (a mole covered character from a popular 70′s children’s program)
I remember being in sixth grade when my father told me they were ugliness on an already ugly face and that I should do something about them
so, they’ve been there for a while.
It became a recurring issue for him
but I was a child and I didn’t know what to do.
I tried things that I read about to get rid of them – lemon juice made into a paste, aspirin applied directly to the moles and covered
even scratching them off
but nothing worked.
They just came straight back.
In hind sight,
he was my father and he could have done something about them for me as my parent
he could have helped me
but he was never going to,
content to tell me over and over what an awful person I was to look at.
I’ve thought about getting rid of them for a long time.
They’ve grown in size over the years
and I feel people staring at them often
and there have been many times, even as an adult, that I’ve been called nasty names
and had them pointed out as an unsightly feature on my face.
I’ve been to the doctor a few times to have them checked and to get a referral to have them removed
but I’ve either chickened out
or time has run away from me.
Mostly, I’ve just been too scared.
Last week though
I was walking through the shopping centre and some young boys thought it a good idea to start pointing out my flaws.
I was fat and ugly and shouldn’t be out in public apparently.
I was “Nanny McPhee” (another moley character from a children’s story)
and perhaps it was because I was already feeling fragile
but I let those boys get to me
and they took great glee in seeing me upset.
I’m not usually a person who cares a great deal about appearances.
I’ve always told myself that there is no room in my life for vanity and that I need to work with what I’ve been given
that it’s just an outer skin and that what matters most is what is on the inside
but yesterday I made an appointment to have those darn bumps on my face removed once and for all.
Surgically.
Actually laser surgery.
I hate them and everything about them – the memories they conjure up,
the insecurities,
the wanting to hide my face away all the time,
the comments and the stares.
I’m nervous
and frightened
and struggling with my decision even now
because it is for vanity only that I am making this choice and that goes against everything I have told myself for the longest time.
It is challenging my values.
I have to wait two long weeks before my consultation.
Time enough to lose my courage again
but I hope I don’t.
I hope I see it through.
I’m tired of always feeling like the ugly duckling
I don’t want to be Nanny McPhee anymore.
I just want to be seen as me
and that might still be ugly in the end
but this is something I need to do
just to know how it feels to be a little less moley.
Never ever ugly Tiff. Not you.
Do whatever makes you happy.
I had 17 moles removed from my face.
Hugs my lovely
Oh Tiff. Seriously, if they are bugging you on some deep level, who are we to judge your descision to have them removed? I know we always tell ourselves its what inside that counts, but sometimes, we have to do something to the outside so it matches how we feel inside.
And laser surgery? How fricking NIFTY is that? I mean no stitches, minimal blood and probably alot less time taken.
(Yeah I work in the medical field, things like this make me go OOOOH PREETY TECH!)
You go girl! Do something for YOU! Don’t get me wrong, you are beautiful just as you are right now but if it’s been a little niggling thing in the back of your mind for so long get rid of them, they’re not making you feel good, you won’t miss them. Think of it as removing the past, the insecurities, the nastiness that you’ve experienced in the past. Treat this as a new beginning, come out of there holding your head high, or at least in a few weeks when everything is healed. After a few weeks, put on your favourite outfit, slap on the blusher and lippy and take a photo of the new you with a big smile on your face for all the world to see and say “to hell with it all, I am Tiffany and I’m proud to be me!” xoxoxo
Tiff, I wont make out like I know exactly how you feel. But I will say this. YES you are a beautiful person. Don’t ever forget that.
Growing up I was always aware of my ugly features. I have always been covered in freckles, red hair & my teeth came through all on top each other. I had chicken pox scars on my arm & chest.
My stepdad told me once to pull the sheet up over my face while I sleep because the flies are shitting on my face. My freckles are fadding though I think & Im not as self conscious about them.
I hate my hair, I always have. Its coarse, dry, thick & frizzy. Seriously their are individual strands of hair that are that thick they could be mistaken for fishing line. They make an audible snap when you break them. I colour my hair now, I hate my natural colour. I looked washed out & old. I also colour my eyebrows & lashes. If I don’t, they are just blend in with my skin.
Over the years the chicken poxs scars have been covered with freckles & are not as noticeable anymore.
When i was 18, we had a yr 2 class come into my work place. The children were learning about peoples jobs. I worked in a vet surgery. Lots of cute & interesting animals to ask about, interesting things on the walls etc. But all those innocent 7 yr oldes where interested in asking me was “why are your teeth up there?” My top eye teeth over lapped the front teeth & the bottom eye teeth did the same. I always smiled with my mouth closed. I always covered my mouth when I laughed. It was probably the one thing that really bothered me the most. After the school visit I went to the orthodontist & started the process of fixing the cosmetic floor that was my teeth. The moment those braces were on I was so much happier with myself. Even with a mouth full of metal. I liked those braces. I went in & said I wanted a beautiful smile for my wedding day & I got it.
I don’t think of my self as a vain person. But I have & do change things about my appearance so I am more confident about myself & how people see me.
Tiff, there is no shame in wanting to feel good, look nice & make changes to do so. To me, your moles are not even noticed when i looked at photos of you. The love & kindness that you are shines radiantly through your eyes. The beautiful person you are distracts from the flaws thats that you have, that we all have. But by all means, do this for yourself. Allow yourself a chance to heal from the painful memories that these features have been the cause of.
Unfortunately we live in a society where children & adults (who should be bloody ashamed of themselves) will point, stare & call names. You don’t deserve that. It makes you no less a person to want to have these moles removed. If anything it makes you brave & courageous that you will face this head on & take a stand to do something about it.
Stand proud Tiff, You are beautiful inside & out. Moles & all. I hope in the coming months, you can stand back & admire yourself in the mirror & see that you are not only beautiful on the inside but see yourself as beautiful on the outside too. Do this only for yourself. No one else.
Wow – I guess I haven’t seen all that many photos of you, yet I have never even noticed them! I always thought what a pretty & young looking face you have – especially for all you have gone through – you should look like a ninety year old lady!
I am certainly not a vain person either -but my ‘thing’ is my front teeth. I knocked them out as an 11 year old & started high school with one missing & one smashed – I had the accident 2 days before school started & the dentist wouldn’t touch them until it had settled (I’m bet that wouldn’t happen these days!) I have since had them capped & crowned & over the past 20 years or so since I had them done as an adult – they look pretty bad (to me anyway!) But, as kids come along, and as a mother, their needs are greater than mine, getting them fixed was always on the back burner. My beautiful husband was trying to save up for me to have them both crowned, because he knows how much I hate them (he doesn’t care one bit!), but the money was always needed for something more pressing. But now, after a broken tooth at the beginning of the year. I went to see my good friend, who is a dentist. I had always avoided seeing him professionally, as I didn’t want to mix the whole business & friendship thing, yet when I saw him, we did a treatment plan for a few other things I needed done & I mentioned getting my front teeth done… to cut a long story short, I am having them fixed for just the cost of our insurance. I am so grateful to this generous & lovely man, who really still doen’t know how much it means to me. At the end of this year – I may apear in more of our family photographs – like you I am a photographer!
I guess what I am trying to say is that, you should do it – do it for YOU! It is not a case of being vain, more a case of removing (or in my case – fixing) something that has made you feel self concsious for a very long time. Other people don’t matter – people who matter love you for who you are, not what you look like.
For all you family has gone through – in the grand scheme of things, this will be a ‘small’ thing – yet it could make you feel so much better about yourself! You have so much courage, you can do it! I think Sue (comment above) put it so much more eloquently than me!
Tiff – I would probably react the same as you in all honesty.. But I hate so much that it should even be an issue.
Do what feels right, amd know that it won’t make any difference to anyone that matters. They’ll still see the beautiful woman you are. Xxx
Tiff, I have always found you beautiful and I never think about your moles. However, I am thrilled that you are planning to have them removed…I think you will follow through this time and I can almost guarantee you’ll be over the moon about the result. I had three removed from my back and, whilst no one had ever commented on them, it gave me such a lift to have them gone.
I agree with Sue; think of it as all the bad memories being lifted away once those are gone.
Tiff, you are beautiful inside and out. I just wanted to say that.
If you want to get them removed, then do it. I don’t think it’s an awful thing to fix something that brings up bad memories for you.
xx
My mama had a mole of a similar size on her forehead for my entire childhood. I loved it. It’s what made my mama, my mama. So when she decided to get it removed when I was a teenager, I was actually really sad. I was sad for myself, that the mole I had always associated with what made my mum different from everyone else was going to be gone, and i was sad for her, that it bothered her so much. But now I can hardly remember what it looked like, and she’s so happy with the results.
So I’m sorry for all the asshats who have been mean and awful, and I wish you all the luck with your consult & surgery. After all you’ve been through this year, you deserve to do something for yourself. Go for it!
Oh Tiff, have courage (we know how much of that you have had to have with Ivy) and do something for yourself. If they are a problem for you then have them off – ASAP. You will feel pleased – it is not vanity. Most of us shave our legs, paint our nails and colour our hair. This is just normal personal care – the same applies to your moles (which I have never noticed btw). If they were cancerous you would have them off in a heartbeat. . The damage it is doing to your psyche is not good for you. Best of luck. Hugs. Dian
It’s not for vanity Tiff. You, being a nurse, know that there is a safety aspect in having them removed – once gone they can never turn into anything nasty. And like Sue and Mary – I believe that it is a way of stripping away the horrible comments you endured about them. Those memories will no longer hit you every time you look in the mirror. So for those reasons – go for it beautiful woman!
Just do it! Isn’t it awful the things our parents do to us? I had terrible acne as a teen, and my mother always told me it was all of the evil in me coming out on my face. Oh, yeah! That REALLY helped my self-confidence!
I had a large black mole on my cheek that was getting bigger. I finally asked around, and found a plastic surgeon. When I went to see him, he asked me why I was there. “Can’t you see????” I asked him? And I started to cry. And then he told me to wait a minute. He disappeared, and came back with a stack of photos. They were of soldiers’ faces who had gotten maimed in the war. He did their reconstructive plastic surgery for free. And then I really started to sob!
Anyway, he was an amazing plastic surgeon, and he did a great job. I had tiny stitches on my face, but a year later, I didn’t even have a scar. He did a great job. Most of my friends didn’t even notice, but I felt better.
After you get it done — and be sure it’s a plastic surgeon — not just a dermatologist. It’s your face, not your arm. After it starts to heal, be sure to keep sun off your face so it will heal well. You’ll feel better after you do it. Even if your friends think you’re fine now — it’s how YOU feel. DO it. You deserve to feel good about yourself!
Tiff, you do it for you and nobody else. I’m sure having them removed would also be a weight off your mind – I’m thinking of not having to worry about them turning nasty in future.
Random cruelty – I don’t get it. Cruel remarks from someone who is supposed to love you would be even worse. I’m sorry you have their thoughtless words in your head. I wish people would understand that those are the wounds that don’t heal so well.
Love ya’. xx
you are not ugly, my dear. so far from. like many above have said… do what *you* want to do. if they’ll make you feel better in the long run, then go for it. i have lots of moles all over (those yucky brown ones). i’ve always been self-conscious of looking like i’ve been attached by a brown marker. i don’t think that it’s a vanity issue at all…… with such deep and traumatic memories attached to them, maybe you can look at it as cutting away that part of your past. blessings.
You know what….. you do what makes to feel good. You are gorgeous already but if you feel it will help you like yourself more and get rid of a reminder of bad times then you go right ahead. I feel the same about my excess weight and now I’m losing it, I want the lot gone. I’m saving for the day I can go to the plastic surgeon to have excess cut off coz it has really held me back from liking myself and I’d gladly embrace a long scar over hanging skin. Everyone is different and unless they have experienced merciless torment esp from a father than no one can judge. I know exactly how you feel xo
Ugliness is not you by any means, its the critters who used the word to you!
Simply your choice, and nobody elses. If you choice to have them removed then go for it. Do what makes it feel right for you!
I would be concerned of them turning into something down the track and then be a real worry.
My mum, had 2 moles also, one on her forehead between her eyebrows and one off her chin. She was self conscious about them and children made comments too. She had them removed and says she feels good for having them off.
If you need someone to hold your hand.. say the word xx
If these blemishes and the derogatory comments and the associated bad memories are partly to blame for your lack of self confidence & esteem, then this is absolutely something you have to do for yourself.
They have always been a part of that beautiful face of yours, but their removal will allow you to see that beauty for yourself at long last. Vanity is not a question, everyone needs to feel beautiful inside & out, so remain courageous and do this, then look at that beautiful reflection in the mirror again and experience the freedom of feeling good about yourself.
I love you over the moon & back, just the way you are, with or without those moles! xoxo
What kind of father says that to a child??
You are beautiful Tiff.
Such a beautiful, comfortable and comforting face! Do what makes you happy. I know what its like – I’ve had teenagers bark at me, and my father’s comment was that instead of clothes I needed to wear a tent “made by Omar Kyam the tent maker.” It sucks. Get rid of those painful memories, and don’t look back. XX
Who does that? Who thinks it is perfectly acceptable to pick someone at random and try and find fault?
Who DOES that?
I am not going to tell you you are beautiful – even though you are – because it means nothing if you don’t feel that way. I hope that getting these moles removed help you to see yourself as you truly are.
Xx
You are beautiful both inside and out. Do what you want to do to make you happy, and I’ll love you whether you have moles or not. XXXX
Wow. It makes me so sad to read this but very glad you shared. People can be just so cruel and it’s so unnecessary. I truly believe it comes from unhappiness on their part. CANNOT believe anyone would call you nanny McPhee or anything related to ugly, you are so beautiful! Surely you see it in your gorgeous kids who look so much like you too!
But get the moles removed – and let go of all that badness that people have put on you, you deserve to feel good about yourself because you are amazing xx
Oh Tiff….I cried when I read what your dad said! How could a parent be that nasty, it truly is beyond me!
You are so brave, courageous and strong with Ivy so I know you can do this for yourself if you decide to have the laser done!
You are a beautiful person inside and out and you have a beautiful family and it is a credit to you but at the end of the day you have to do what is right for you!
Take care…..
Jennifer and Andrew x
I’m surprised you didn’t beat the little sods to a pulp, and release some stress. You would have had 694 witnesses to vouch for your character!
So sad for the abuse, and a bit like Anna’s comment, I just see them as part this special, beautiful, strong woman.
Go with what is right for you.
Andrew (and Jennifer)
I have honestly always thought you have a lovely face and it is very sad that you think that you are ugly, understandable however as the things parents say to us as children are impossible to forget. Looking at your photo I thought to myself what beautiful lips you have, they are full and a beautiful shape, your nose is perfect and your eyes lovely. If the moles bother you get rid of them. You are worried that it is being vain to remove them. I dont think it is, it is getting rid of something that has caused you pain. What so bad about being a little bit vain anyway? Dont be so hard on yourself. You are a wonderful, caring person. Look at your daughters they are beautiful arent they? Well they look a lot like you!
The way we feel about our appearance has such a strong effect on our psyche in ways we don’t even realize. Below the surface, we internalize our insecurities and act out on them, sometimes unknowingly, sometimes in strange ways. I too have a flaw (post-childbirth) that I am having a hard time living with, despite telling myself that it is superficial and minor in the grand scheme of things. I too am toying with the idea of “correcting” it. I’ve reached the conclusion that it is beyond vanity and appearances. Rather, its more about a comfort with myself that I want to get back. That said, I think it is a great idea because it will impact your overall well-being.
Adding to the voices – I’ve never noticed, but if you want them off, you should. Think of it as part of the “things you do before you’re forty” or whatever – as a treat to yourself for this momentous birthday and the rest of your life. I never thought I’d color my hair, but I enjoy it and it makes me feel good, so I do. This is pretty much along the same lines, I think. Of course, since they’ve been a part of your face for a long time it feels more momentous than that.
My mother, a person who is vibrantly beautiful inside and outside, had moles removed from her face too and she is much happier! It sounds terrible, but it really did help her and how she felt about herself. I, even as a child, could see a difference in how she felt before & after. (Although she does use concealer as there was a red spot for a little bit.)
I hope you don’t chicken out, I want to hear all about the laser experience.
As for you being ugly…that’s not true at all.
Moles or not, you are beautiful.
Tiff, I wrote a post about my moles a few months ago and how I still hadn’t had them removed even though I really want to.
Mine are like yours and the plastic surgeon I saw explained that they are usually as deep on the inside as they are on the outside and that means a big cut and possible scar so to prevent that I would need a full GA to have mine removed.
I chickened out, I was breastfeeding, we didn’t have the cash etc, but I still want them gone. When I pick up little kids they all touch them, rub them and ask about them, I don’t mind so much, but I look forward to them being gone. I would LOVE to hear about the laser surgery option and what is involved, if you get there please share the finer details, there are lots of us Nanny McPhees put there.
A friend of mine had a mole removed from right under her eye. She was really nervous about having it done but decided to go ahead and do it. It only took a few minutes and was quick and easy. You can’t even tell that there was a mole there.
I have a mole on my forehead that the kids use as a button to make me squeak, bark, growl, meow, etc. One of my daughters has one growing in the same place. My son has one growing on the side of his nose – exact same place as my Dad’s! Can’t help but think they are inherited. Hope my kids have more positive associations with their unique accessories. Good luck, either way it is only skin deep.
I hadn’t even noticed them until I read this but if it makes you feel better about yourself then go for it.
I had 5 moles removed at the beginning of the year, 3 were sent for testingn but the one on my nose (just like yours and growing) and the one above my lip weren’t. I told my doctor – “these I’m removing purely for the sake of vanity”
Go for it Tiff! Remove them and be free of them. There’s nothing wrong with a little vanity. It doesn’t mean you value the inside any less than the outside. I can’t believe people are so mean. I never noticed them as anything other than moles…
I hope you go through with it.
Xo
Tash