It was not the luckiest of days.
This is not the post I had planned for today.
In my mind I had a triumphant post about how I was able to donate blood again,
after almost two years struggling with anaemia.
I’d been given the all clear and so I booked in today, you see.
I’ve done all the right things;
taken my double dose iron tablets for six months (which then excluded me from donating for another 12)
tried to eat more meat and more vegies
but it was no good.
My levels were too low.
Banned for another 18 months, while I try to get my levels up again.
I sat in the car park and cried.
I feel as though there is so much that I can’t control with Ivy’s health
and I feel helpless and useless
and like I’ve failed her.
Donating my blood was the one thing I could give her.
It made me feel like I was doing something for her
and
how can I ask others to donate blood when I can’t even do it myself?
It seems trite for me to stand in front of people and implore them to give
when I cannot.
I am really disheartened this afternoon
but I am also thankful for the people who can donate.
At least I can still do that.
I can still say thank you.
Oh, Tiff. I know you know this, but it isn’t trite at all for you to ask others to donate – it’s not that you *will* not, it’s that you *cannot*, and there’s a world of difference. I really feel for your disappointment today.
(My Dad, who has haemochromatosis and HAS to donate every 8-10 weeks, says you can pretend like some of his is on your behalf if you like
Tiff, you cannot help your inability to give ( not for want or trying ) anymore than Ivy is responsible for her troubles. You CAN still ask people to give, you CAN feel like you’ve doing/are doing enough – you are always there, you are her mother and that’s the most important thing to Ivy i’m sure. That you’re her mummy and that you are there. You are dependable and you fight in her corner.
I’m sorry you cannot give blood at this stage, but maybe it’s like that old adage .. those that cannot do …. teach.
!! ) … but in this instance, who better to lead the way .. ?!
Nothing against teachers (
xx
Be kind to yourself x
You and Ivy are champions for blood donation, and that is a huge deal. I can never give blood because I have lupus, but I know about it and talk about it and liberally congratulate anyone I know who does. And that has to be enough. But I really wish I could donate, not because I have any personal reason, but because it’s *so* important, so I know where you’re coming from.
Tiff don’t feel bad about not being able to donate or asking people to donate blood – I ask people to donate blood, because like Ivy I need people to donate blood to keep me alive and as well as possible… and people don’t mind!! I’ll add you to the ARCBS FB page if you already haven’t found it and then you can post there with Ivy and help the BS that way too.
Can’t add you Tiff but here is the link http://www.facebook.com/groups/4130602369/
Tiff I feel your dissapointment through the page. I am so sorry your body is not cooperating. Do not feel you are failing Ivy in any way. You want to give and that is what matters. I am not allowed to donate either or I’d happily donate every month to help!
Now listen here you. It’s not your fault, it’s not like you didn’t try. Don’t you dare beat yourself up over this. It’s out of your control. All of this said with much love. You know that. Much love and hugs
I think there is a mile of difference between cannot and will not. If you cannot donate blood, that is not your fault.
Love to you. xxxx
we’ll try next weekend
*hugs*
Hey, you NEVER let Ivy down…. you’re always there for her…..and donating blood is the ONLY thing others can offer to do..along with sending heaps of love and hugs xoxoxoxoxx
I don’t see how taking iron tablets excludes you from donating. Have I misunderstood something?
I’ve given up trying to donate for now, the fainting is bothering me. I’m just not comfortable donating a pint of my best red, then waking up flat on the floor getting oxygen again.
Tiff you do everything you can for Ivy, please don’t feel like this one thing you can’t do bring you undone. I’m a blood donor please let me do it for you and Ivy, as far as I’m concerned it”s privilige to be able to help.
Hey! I’m a nutritionist and just from that point of view my advice for you is to make sure you take Vitamin C with those iron tablets. You can’t absorb non-heme (iron not from a blood source) without a vitamin C source. Take those iron tablets with a 8oz of orange juice to up your absorption of it and increase your iron levels. If you want any other advice on how to get your iron levels up nutritionally, let me know! I’m sorry this is happening for you.
It was good to see Laura’s comment. I’m glad I’m not the only who is concerned about your persistent anaemia!
Put straight out of your mind the idea that you shouldn’t be speaking up for blood donation when you can’t donate yourself. It doesn’t matter in the least. Cover it with a soap bubble and blow it away.
Tiffany,
You already give so much to Ivy. You need to take care of yourself, so that you keep on loving Miss Ivy through the long haul. Meanwhile, the
‘asking’ would be as much a sacrifice and responsibility as the ‘giving’. Your heart remains in the right place since you would if you could. Use this as reason to pour more effort into raising awareness, not less.
Meanwhile, pay attention to your health… you need maintenance too:-)!!
Not your fault at all. You’re doing all you can for Ivy in every other way. Take care of you. x
Let’s see: you are a full time wife and mom of seven, Ivy’s personal physicians assistant AND nurse, housekeeper, children’s chauffeur (all moms are),
prolific and splendid photographer, chief worrier and you carry the weight of Ivy’s illness. You wear a lot of hats so its not surprising that you are anemic. You bleed at the pores for little miss six and your other seven family units. You are an action hero(ine). That’s a lot of wear and tear on you. Give yourself a break, OK. Lots of people can’t donate blood, me because of all the medications I take, for instance. Don’t torture yourself, you do plenty already and your turn to donate will come soon enough. Enjoy the party preparations, and be gentle with yourself, please.
My son, Alexander needed blood before he died. Someone had selflessly given him “the gift of life”.
Due to fear, I had stopped giving blood. After his death, I made an appointment to donate. I was rejected (for possibly visiting a malaria location). To say that I was devastated would be an understatement.
I shared my story (http://journeysofthezoo.blogspot.com/2011/06/poppas-visit-new-teeth-blood-donation.html). Because of that, ONE woman has joined the international bone marrow registry and started giving blood again. One woman who CAN change the world.
You are doing the absolute best that you possibly can. By sharing your story, you too HAVE changed the world.
Be kinder to yourself, Tiff. Whilst you may not be able to give blood, typos are giving to your family and others u
In so many ways.
Of course you’re understandably feeling devastated, but you do absolutely everything else you possibly can for Ivy and you’ve done all that was required to get your haemoglobin up to necessary levels. You’ve obviously used up a lot of iron since getting the ok to donate again. So what more can you do for now other than to persevere in attaining & maintaining the required levels so that you can be tested again sooner and thereby possibly give blood again earlier than the 18 months they are advocating. Your inability to give blood is all the more more reason to ask those who can and are willing, to do so.
My advice, for what it’s worth, is keep doing as you have been and keep up the Minadex!
as it also has the necessary Vitamin C in solution. xoxo
Nadia ^ told me to comment to tell you that I donated blood today, and I am an obedient sister
Um, I donated blood today!
Thank you for donating! Thank you for telling me xx
Hi Tiff, please don’t beat yourself up, what with all that you give everyday to IvyG and the brood!
I’ll be back in for mine next Friday; once again smiling at the giant poster of “our” girl on the wall in Newy.
Knowing the big girls intentions for their 16th, make sure they’re getting all their steak and green veges too!
Hi Tiff,
I’m phobic about giving blood, and tend to be a bit of a fainter. But your huge efforts have made me want to suck it up and try harder. You temporarily can’t give blood, but you’re motivating others too. Take care.
Never fear… IRON WOMAN IS HERE!
Step aside and make way. For every person with anemia there is one with Haemachromatosis. Haemachromatosis is a condition where the body absorbs too much iron – even avoiding high iron food does not help – the solution? Donate blood! At one stage I was giving blood every 2 weeks, now that I am in maintenance it’s only once every 2 months.
Ironically the symptoms of Haemachromatosis are similar to anemia (ie lethergy) veinisection helps by offloading the iron as well as preventing the build up to be deposited in vital organs.
Donating blood helps more than the receiver….