This is not the post I had planned for today.
In my mind I had a triumphant post about how I was able to donate blood again,
after almost two years struggling with anaemia.
I’d been given the all clear and so I booked in today, you see.
I’ve done all the right things;
taken my double dose iron tablets for six months (which then excluded me from donating for another 12)
tried to eat more meat and more vegies
but it was no good.
My levels were too low.
Banned for another 18 months, while I try to get my levels up again.
I sat in the car park and cried.
I feel as though there is so much that I can’t control with Ivy’s health
and I feel helpless and useless
and like I’ve failed her.
Donating my blood was the one thing I could give her.
It made me feel like I was doing something for her
how can I ask others to donate blood when I can’t even do it myself?
It seems trite for me to stand in front of people and implore them to give
when I cannot.
I am really disheartened this afternoon
but I am also thankful for the people who can donate.
At least I can still do that.
I can still say thank you.