Have you ever noticed that it’s always the same children who are the last ones chosen for a team?

The same kids who miss out on the birthday invitations,

the same who are left out.

Maybe you have because, like me, you are acutely aware of it

because when you went to school you were that child

or maybe it’s because, like me, you now have a son or a daughter who is in that position.

Maybe you haven’t noticed.

There has been alot of talk lately in school

and around the internet

about political correctness and how it has just gone too far.

In particular, the birthday party scene.

Our school, like many, suggests that the whole class be invited

so that nobody is left out.

Some people argue that it does not teach our children resilience,

that they will expect everything to be handed to them on a silver platter.

I’m not saying that’s wrong, each to their own and all of that

but

personally, I am struggling with it.

I think the children who miss out on the invites -

they already know that life is sometimes tough.

I think those children who are the last ones picked for a game,

they know that it’s not always going to be peaches and cream.

I certainly did.

I learnt that very quickly.

I learnt that there are cliques in school – just as there are in life.

Has it made me a better person?

I’m not sure.

I know that I am shy and not confident and that I still feel as though I will be the last one standing alot of the time.

Perhaps that is a self fulfilling prophecy

perhaps that’s just who I am.

Who knows if I would have been a different person, had I been invited to the parties

had I been included in the playground games

had I been invited over to play in the afternoons, after school.

Then again, perhaps I would not be the kind of mother to teach my children that everyone deserves a chance,

that every person should be considered, no matter what.

So while there is a movement to rebel against including everyone

to teach our children to suck it up and learn that life isn’t fair,

to make them see that not every person will be your friend

I am choosing to invite everyone

when it comes to Ivy and Noah’s birthday at the end of this year.

It may be a lot of work.

It may be that it is not the done thing amongst the parenting circles, right now

but I think that by doing that I am not teaching my kids to expect more

I am not teaching them to be weak.

I am teaching them to be kind and to be considerate

and perhaps, I am showing that one little girl,

who has a tough time at home

the one who is not in the most fashionable clothes

or who has the latest toy

or perhaps, does not quite fit in with the rest of the group

that they are worthy

that they mean something to even just one little friend.

Maybe being politically correct about this isn’t such a bad thing

Maybe I’ll be helping someone to believe in themself.