Sperm is a tadpole with a penis.
Noah: Ivy, did you know that Mummies have eggs in them? Yes. Just like chickens but without the feathers.
Ivy: (incredulously) No, they don’t!
Noah: Yes, it’s true. (calling across the tables because as a family we take up three of them) Isn’t it true, Mummy, that you are full of eggs.
Mummy: Yes, but we could probably talk about this another time Noah.
Noah: (ignoring my request) and Ivy, did you know that the Daddies are full of sperm and sperm are actually tadpoles with a penis?
Ivy: (eyes boggling) Noah! Don’t say penis!
Noah: but penis isn’t a naughty word.
Ivy: shhhhhhh, penis is not a good word for here!
Mummy: (cowering) Noah, I asked you not to talk about it here.
Noah: and did you know, Ivy that the tadpoles wiggle around until they find the egg and then they bite a big hole in the top and jump inside?
Ivy: yes, Noah, yes. I did know that. I did know all of that, stop talking. Now!
Noah: (looking around him and noticing that he has everyone’s attention. Everyone’s, including several surrounding patrons) and Ivy, did you know that when the tadpole jumps inside the egg they mash together and that makes a baby?
Did you know that you, Ivy, are mushed up egg and tadpole?
Ivy: Noah!
Everyone else in the family: Noah!
Noah: what????
Apparently, Maccas is as good a place as any to tell your sister the facts of life.
And this was exactly what I needed this morning.
ditto to Veronica
LOL
Oh my – did you feel like disappearing into the Filet of Fish (or perhaps we all already have…)
I saw Ivy’s beautiful face on a “Christmas in July” flyer for the blood bank yesterday – gorgeous!
LOL – Love him!
Noah is a wise kid. Just saying. Hehehe
Thanks so much – I needed a good laugh. Out of the mouths of babes…Absolutely wonderful picture of the little rascal. Feels like you could reach out and hug him.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! What???
Priceless!
Well done Noah on doing a mighty fine job of explaining the facts of life AND embarrassing your family. Too funny!
Nothing like sharing new found important knowledge over lunch (or dinner) in a public place for all the world to hear. Just love it! (LOL) xoxo
That dude would do well at our dinner table…!
Thanks for the laugh!!
Gold! I can’t wait until my kids find out about the birds and the bees so I can hear what gems they come up with. HOpefully this inspiration doesn’t strike whilst at a restaurant…!!
love it. Kids have the best understanding of how things work
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Oh good heavens this has to be the funniest thing I have read in absolute ages!!! Your Noah sounds just like my boy!!!
I really did LOL at this one. You couldnt script something like this if you tried!
Hysterical!!
Your two little ones make me smile. Thank you.
Ahahahaha that is hilarious! Thanks for the giggle, I really needed it today!
x
The bit I like is IVY trying, in a very controlled and intelligent manner, to shut him up.
a tadpole and a mushed up egg? Wow, what beautiful combination such a yuck bunch of ingredients makes! LOL, love that poor Ivy knew the convo wasn’t dinner-out worthy and Noah didn’t care.
Excellent
HILARIOUS!! and actually quite a good explanation Noah.
Tiff – this is even funnier next day. Ha ha ha ha.
I’m guessing a few families who overheard this are now having intense conversations with their kids.
Love you Noah.
LOVE. IT!!!! I could just put that boy and a sandwich and eat him. He’s too delicious!
What a fantastic story!! He’s very well informed
PMSL!! This was too funny!
And… just like that I’ve figured out how I’m going to explain the facts of life to my daughter when the time comes
Then again, maybe I could borrow Noah…
Your babies are hilarious! Too cute. xxx