Bad blogging.
This blog has gotten me into all sorts of trouble lately.
Apparently,
I say too much,
or not enough,
to the wrong people
who are really the right ones.
I’m too selfish,
I feel sorry for myself too often,
I talk too much about Ivy,
not enough about Ivy
and not enough about the boys
or the girls
or my husband
According to some,
‘nobody’ wants to hear about my low points
but ‘nobody’ wants to hear about my good times either.
I’m not allowed to form an opinion on the medical system,
the doctors
or on anything, really.
I am being inconsiderate, if I do.
I started blogging because I felt alone.
I continued because I liked the feeling that somebody was out there and cared enough to comment,
to take an interest in me and my thoughts
but I was never ready for the negativity.
It was not something I factored into keeping a blog
and I wonder why I’m still going somedays – although I have no plans to stop.
I find myself censoring my posts more and more.
Keeping it real just seems too much for some people
and so
instead of writing about grief
instead of writing about illness
and worry
and doctors who totally let us down
I try to sugar coat it.
It’s my space.
I know it
but
I can’t deal with people hating me
just because I write my feelings into a post.
I’m not coping with the meanness.
Today I’m angry though,
angry that I have let some judgmental people get in the way of
what is essentially
therapy for me.
So, for the record;
Ivy is sick.
Our doctor let us down
again
My father has been dead for four years tomorrow.
AJ broke his finger and can’t play for the representative team this year.
Noah had tonsillitis but he’s good now.
He really is.
It’s coming up to William’s birthday and anniversary and I find myself teary and self absorbed some days
and angry with myself most others for still being teary and self absorbed six years on.
I’ve put on heaps of weight as I try to take in more red meat so I can get my iron levels up, so I can go back to donating blood
and I hate it.
I got my hair cut short, because I can’t deal with long hair and another hospital stint (and it’s coming, oh yes it is).
After 24 hours of short hair, I want my long hair back.
I can be selfish
and I do feel sorry for myself sometimes (I’m only human)
and I probably will write about any or all of these things, if I want to,
at some time in the near future.
Make of it what you will.
DON’T YOU DARE STOP BLOGGING!!!!!! These people who lurk, then de-lurk to troll must do so because it gives them some some kind of perverse pleasure. Yes, it is every reader’s right to comment positively or negatively and to pass judgement on what they read, but at least be honest enough to identify themselves so you are given the right of reply to defend yourself if need be. Any troll who comments negatively or judgementally as “anon” is gutless and needs to be totally ignored. You do not have to justify ANYTHING you post in ANY way in YOUR blog to anyone. This is your space to be who you are, to tell it your way without self censorship, to bare your feelings and too bloody bad if some lurking reader doesn’t like it. All they need do is stop reading without further comment. So as hurtful as it may be, just try to ignore these people and take note of all those readers who love your blog just the way it is. You need to do this, Tiff, for yourself, so keep on blogging. xoxo
Hey, we all need to vent. If this is the way that helps you than, who cares why people need to be negative. I came to this blog from 5 minutes and now I check in every day, yes to make sure Ivy is okay, but that everyone is okay. You will make it through this illness and the next. You do the best job you can, and anyone that says different, have no idea what you are going through or what they are talking about. Good luck, and Ivy and you r family are in my prayers!
it disgusts me that people are negative on blog comments seriously……we are not placed on this earth to judge….but to love one another.
much love to you. ♥
Awesome! that is what i have to say about this post.. it’s awesome. share on!
It amazes me that people would bother leaving negative comments – if they don’t like what you write all they need to do is to push that delete button. I love reading your blog, you tell it as it is, you are a wonderful Mother to fight for Ivy’s right to proper medical treatment – of course there are times when you must feel down, having a sickly child would be terribly draining……
I’m one reader who thinks you are doing a wonderful job – keep up the great work and please keep blogging as long as your heart tells you to.
Oh, and to all those who leave negative comments on your blog – BUGGAR OFF!!! we can do without reading your negative comments, go somewhere else where things are rosy every day – you are not in touch with reality…..
Tiff. I dont know where to start. IM FURIOUS!!! I wish I could meet some of these “people with opinions” and see if they had the guts to say any of it in person.
First, I want to suggest that maybe you take away the option for your readers to leave comments – or contact you! Your real friends know where to contact you if they want to say something! At the end of the day, you need to say what you want or need to say – and who gives a crap what anyone else thinks!!!!! If they dont like it, they can go read something else. Its very simple … if you dont like the blog… dont read it. Piss off and go read Perez Hilton or something more on your own level!
People are just so stupid. The internet gives them balls, because they can be anonymous. Maybe theyre bullied in real life, or weak pathetic human beings with little or no purpose – so they see you as an easy target because you lay it all out on the table. They see that sometimes you are down, so its easy to kick you. IYKWIM? Its unfair, and its horrible, but some people have to operate that way. They never feel on top, unless they do their best to make sure someone is under them. Pity them, dont oblige them
Dont ever stop being yourself Tiff. If you want to blog about your socks every single day for a week straight – Id still read it! And it would still be more interesting than anything I could come up with!! I love your blog, its very YOU. And YOU should not be censored. The majority of us are here for the good, the bad and the ugly. Forget the rest – MAJORITY RULES!!!!
We’ve been here before haven’t we?
Screw them, once they are gone you’ll still have to do what you do.
I love your blog, it is real and touching and inspiring. I know negative comments hurt but just try and concentrate on the many, many more who really appreciate your blog.
hi tiff .
don’t you stop blogging . i love to read and catch up on your news and in some small way go thru your ups and downs with you . you got me started and i love you for that ,it is a great way to talk about things and get things of your chest . you know i am here for you and your family . i am honored to call you my best friend and to know such a wonderfull family . all our luv xxxxxxxx
Big hugs from me.
Like you said blogging is your therapy, don’t let those trolls take that away from you… or the rest of us who love you for your honesty, your high points, your low points. I don’t think you need to censor and sugar coat stuff but even if you do… I’ll still be here xoxox
I haven’t time to read all the comments today I’m sorry.
Please ignore the nasty nasty people who appear to have ‘got to you’. How very dare they. This blog is an eclectic mix of your life. You blog with honesty and integrity and remember your loyal followers think those who waste their lives critising you are nasty opinionated bigots. Cyber bulling is my pet hate. Ignore them – stay as you are. For you are a brave, intelligent woman and you should be proud of your blog. Try hard not to dwell on these people whose main purpose it seems is to hurt other poeples feelings – the trolls are like the world unfortunately not everyone is nice and the internet unfortunately including the blogging world has them. This does not mean one has to take a blind bit of notice of them. So please continue as you are. Please don’t self moderate because of the ignorant few. However you write your blog I will follow it.
I want to slap whomever criticized you.
Be who you are. That’s who we love!
I’m a long time follower, first time commenter. Disregard the negitive comments, this is your blog no one HAS to read it. Most who have problems with it are just people who are not happy with themselves and project that onto others or just have no life. This is your outlet!
NO, don’t stop blogging. I love you (weird as I haven’t met you) and the way you write and the things you write about. Your blog is your place to say as you see fit. My world would be a little less bright if I couldn’t come here and see what you guys are up to – good and bad.
Also, I’m sure you probably know this but I don’t have many pearls of wisdom to impart so I can’t pass up a good opportunity, try eating dark green vegetables while drinking orange juice – the vitamin c helps the body absorb the iron in the greens.
I don’t have any idea how many blogs there are on the internet. I’ve checked lots of them out and found only a handful that appeal to me. Yours is one of them because you’re so REAL — caring, compassionate, capable, thoughtful and doing the best you can under very trying circumstances. You’re a wonderful writer and a darn good photographer. I have stuck with your blog because I like you, warts and all. It’s just amazing to me that anyone would make the effort to log on to see how things are going and feel compelled to make negative comments. So, I’d like you to know that you have a friend clear over here near Seattle, Washinton USA who wants to encourage you to stay true to yourself. Keep on blogging, baby!
I think you rock and should never stop. Your blig is honest, open, and real. That’s what makes it so amazing.
I just wanted to thank everyone for the lovely comments.
They outweigh all of the bad ones.
You gotta keep blogging Tiff – there’s no two ways about it – if people don’t like it…tough – they can chose not to read – stuff em I say
*hug* Fuck em, you deserve to selfish. This blog is whatever you need it to be. You only ever have to answer to yourself.
You are the awesomeness of awesome, Tiff. And if people choose to try to pull you down… well simply don’t let them.
xoxox
Screw them, seriously! This is your blog. Your outlet. Your opinions. I have yet to understand why people hate on blogs. If you don’t like the way someone writes, stop reading! It’s not mandatory reading. It boggles my mind.
I’m sorry that Ivy is ill again. I just read the above post. I hope you can keep her out of the hospital.
be what you wanna be Tiff .. you are the only one in your shoes and they will carry you on your journey – this is your space and the bad people should just leave well alone … how sad and tiny their lives must be … le xoxo
*HUGS*
Your blog.
Your words.
Your life.
And *most* of us love you just the way you are.