Bad blogging.
This blog has gotten me into all sorts of trouble lately.
Apparently,
I say too much,
or not enough,
to the wrong people
who are really the right ones.
I’m too selfish,
I feel sorry for myself too often,
I talk too much about Ivy,
not enough about Ivy
and not enough about the boys
or the girls
or my husband
According to some,
‘nobody’ wants to hear about my low points
but ‘nobody’ wants to hear about my good times either.
I’m not allowed to form an opinion on the medical system,
the doctors
or on anything, really.
I am being inconsiderate, if I do.
I started blogging because I felt alone.
I continued because I liked the feeling that somebody was out there and cared enough to comment,
to take an interest in me and my thoughts
but I was never ready for the negativity.
It was not something I factored into keeping a blog
and I wonder why I’m still going somedays – although I have no plans to stop.
I find myself censoring my posts more and more.
Keeping it real just seems too much for some people
and so
instead of writing about grief
instead of writing about illness
and worry
and doctors who totally let us down
I try to sugar coat it.
It’s my space.
I know it
but
I can’t deal with people hating me
just because I write my feelings into a post.
I’m not coping with the meanness.
Today I’m angry though,
angry that I have let some judgmental people get in the way of
what is essentially
therapy for me.
So, for the record;
Ivy is sick.
Our doctor let us down
again
My father has been dead for four years tomorrow.
AJ broke his finger and can’t play for the representative team this year.
Noah had tonsillitis but he’s good now.
He really is.
It’s coming up to William’s birthday and anniversary and I find myself teary and self absorbed some days
and angry with myself most others for still being teary and self absorbed six years on.
I’ve put on heaps of weight as I try to take in more red meat so I can get my iron levels up, so I can go back to donating blood
and I hate it.
I got my hair cut short, because I can’t deal with long hair and another hospital stint (and it’s coming, oh yes it is).
After 24 hours of short hair, I want my long hair back.
I can be selfish
and I do feel sorry for myself sometimes (I’m only human)
and I probably will write about any or all of these things, if I want to,
at some time in the near future.
Make of it what you will.
I like it.
x
Oh honey, come on over to my place and see what I posted a couple of hours ago.
Tell it like it is.
(in case you didn’t click over, I gave you two “blog awards” today, one for “Attitude with Gratitude” and one “Beautiful Blogger,” and I put those up well before I read this)
And if you don’t like it, piss off!
I only want to hear what you honestly think and feel. You need to ignore the stupid people and just say what you need to. This is your blog. x
Mum told me about AJ’s finger. Hope he’s doing ok.
Sorry about the illness.
And forever sorry for your grief and for the loss of your son.
Sometimes life sucks. Sometimes life rocks. Sing it (and photograph it, you talented beast) as long and as loudly as you want. Amen, sister.
This is your space Tif, you have the right to say whatever you want, whenever you want. The haters must have some serious issues of their own if they think they they have the right to judge you or try to make you feel bad. I hope you don’t stop blogging because I love to read what you have to say. T xx
Tiff, Just continue to write and photograph your heart out. we are here love Barbara
Oh honey. xxx
I hope that the comments from the people who come here because we think you are a fabulous mother and a talented photographer and a beautiful writer will far outweigh those horrible naysayers. Keep doing what you do best!
Tiff … you do whatever you need to do to help you through. I, for one, love reading your blog and about your journey with Ivy. Ignore the people who think it’s OK to spread their burden of negativity. You are a gorgeous woman with a beautiful family, and one extra-special little girl who we should all be fighting harder for.
Some of us don’t have people to talk to and confide in about the good, the bad, the whatever. And if your blog means you can confide in me a little, well, I’m honoured!
Good on you, i love your honesty and i want to read the truth.
You are entitled to feel whatever you want to feel,
hope things get better really soon
Excuse me French, but F*** them. It’s your blog, your thoughts. You do what you want & if they don’t like it, then they can go & read somewhere else.
I don’t sugar coat things either & I really don’t understand why others prefer things that way. Do they live in a fantasy world where everyday is full of rainbows & lollipops?
Don’t stop blogging because of them.
Tell em all where to go!
I seriously don’t understand why people bother writing nasty comments…. the mind boggles at the waste of time and effort. Ignore it and write, photograph, don’t write, dance naked on your blog if you want to… bugger anyone who dares to complain, they can go jump!!!
I’m glad you aren’t going to stop.
Don’t listen to them. Listen to the nice voices instead.
I am sorry it’s been 4 yrs since you Dad died I knew it was close.
I am with Amy on William ‘forever sorry for your grief and for the loss of your precious Will’.
It’s must be devastating for AJ.
(hugs)
Keep blogging. I will keep reading. Bless you.
I mostly lurk, but figured today would be a good day to say how much I like you and your blog. I’m completely smitten with Ivy, so there’s never too much Ivy, even when it’s heartbreaking. But the main thing is that you sing from the heart, whatever the song. Keep it up… don’t let the haters win!
just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging.
love you girl.
If they really didnt like what you wrote then they wouldnt keep reading. They’re probably just bored and/or need to take out their frustrations on someone. Its your blog. We’re all just visitors. Keep writing. Keep posting your wonderful photos. Sometimes its not just therapy for yourself, but for others too.
Oh, my friend. HUGS xxxx
Tiff, I think you are pretty bloody amazing. You do what you want. This is YOUR space. I like it. x
I was going to say something constructive and with one or two swear words in it but Pesky pixies comment has just cracked me up. So yes my friend,
just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging,just keep blogging…….
You know, people just ain’t no good sometimes. You keep writing about what you need to, how you need to, when you need to. Your writing is luminous and beautiful, and so are you. *many, many hugs*
I don’t comment often, but I will say that despite what others may say, this is and always will be YOUR blog. Write what you want on it! If some people aren’t interested in your topic on a particular day, they can skim it or mark it as read in their reader. If I find a blog and it becomes something I no longer have interest in, I simply stop reading it. Negative commentors aren’t trying to help or be constructive, they’re just being critical. In all honesty, I don’t understand your pain over William. If there is a post about him, I tend to skim because I just can’t relate. BUT you have every right to discuss how you feel on your blog!! I won’t stop reading or complain over one post, I’ll just look and see what you write the next day. I would expect my readers to do the same.
The only thing I can say, and I mean this as constructive criticism, is that sometimes the format of how you write doesn’t appeal to me. And by that I mean, the only a few words per line style that you’ve been using on most of your posts lately. I just feel like I’m endlessly scrolling. But your content is FINE. It’s you and that’s what your blog should be.
Another long time lurker feeling the need to speak up here. There’s no such thing as bad blogging. There’s my blogging, your blogging, his blogging, their blogging… and as for HER blogging… There’s only one answer for nasty people… go away… don’t read. Jeez you’d think they were being forced!
Everyone has said it above me. This is YOUR blog, for you to say whatever it is you want to.
A place for you to reflect, express or show what is on your mind that day.
Please know that no matter what you write, or how much or how little there are people here reading, and there for you no matter what you want to say, or even if you don’t want to say anything.
If yoou listen to others and try to write for anyone but yourself it stops being authentic. Do it for YOU! Tjis is not blog requests, this is your blog.
Take care
You know what they say, “if you can’t say something nice about anyone, come and sit next to me”.
Seriously, your experience is your experience, noting right or wrong about it.
As for the iron, I’ve been anemic for a while, and taking supplements – the supplements are great, and seemed to work really quickly. If you hate red meat, drop me a line, and I can give you the details
I’m hoping to be able to give blood again soon.
Like the others said, ignore the negative people, they don’t have to stay around, let them move on. You’ve cut your hair?? Me too!! About the middle of January for me, and I’m still liking it short, except now I can’t tie it back to straighten it so it’s curling like crazy. Bleh. But it’s easier to manage, a quick run through with the fingers (or not) and it looks okay, much faster to wash and dry too. Sorry to hear Noah’s been ill, I remember having tonsillitis a lot. I loved your last post about the parcel from America, what a great idea! Maybe if you put the word around, it could take off here in Aus. Ivy was looking so serious giving that teddy an injection. Once again, don’t fret over the negatives that stop here briefly, they don’t know and love you, all of you, like we do.
I’ve been reading you for a few years now, since around the time we petitioned for Ivy’s IVIG and I love your blog. I love the mix of happy, sad, frustrated, joyful photos, family love, remembrance, hope. I love it all. You’re a fabulous mother who is tested way too frequently and despite it all you still manage to be there for Ivy and your family.
If venting truthfully on this blog helps you keep one iota of sanity then it’s a blessing. And to the people who come here to read you and make negative comments, stop reading. No one is forcing you. I must’ve been 2 when my mother taught me that if you have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all. Clearly not everyone learned that lesson.
Tiff, you don’t have to please anyone, with your content, your writing style, your attitude. For the record, I love your short sentence style these days. Says a lot ina few words.
Hang in there and as pixie somebody said above “just keep blogging’
Much love to you as your difficult anniversaries draw near. No one needs to understand your grief. It’s yours. I personally don’t think I’d ever be able to get over the loss of my son so don’t ever apologise for still grieving for William. The very thought that you should be held to someone else’s standard of grief pisses me off. Sorry. It’s frustrating me just thinking of it.
Sorry this comment is so long. Hang in there Tiff. We love you and your family and that special ray of sunshine Ivy.
You’re right. It’s your blog. If “they” don’t like it, why do they bother? Just try to ignore them. Hugs xxx
I love you and I love your blog and I will ALWAYS be here for you! The people causing all these problems should just go find something else to do and someone else to annoy!
As someone who finds it really difficult to ignore negativity from others, I so understand where you’re coming from. Just know that for every critic there’s a thousand people who love and adore you.
I say FUCK THEM. you say what you need to. Geez people piss me off
people love to kick someone when they are down.
My highest trafficked posts are the ones where I am breaking down. They are also the ones that bring out the trolls.
Love you sweetie. You know it.
Good on you for being honest and keeping going when the nastiness rears its head.
Shame shame for those petty little people who feel the need to put you down. Tell them to get a life and stop judging yours.
And remember for every troll you have a hundred friends made through this blog and we all love you.
xoxo
What everyone else said — this is your blog– please do with it what you want/need to do. You have so much going on in your life, and it is easy to say but hard to do, don’t let people who don’t know you/haven’t walked in your shoes dictate what you do or say.
Quite frankly, FUCK THEM.
This is YOUR blog, YOUR little space on the interwebs.
You write what YOU want when YOU want to.
I love reading your blog, I have for over 2 years. I know that I’m far from being the only one!
YOU are a wonderful mother, and an amazing person. I just wish I lived on the same continent so we could meet!
Stay strong, and stay blogging.
Worst case scenario? Give me their ip addresses and I’ll silence them for you.
*hugs* sweety.
You are awesome, and don’t ever forget it!
xxxxxxxx
I’ll keep reading no matter what you write. I love reading your blog and hearing about your family and your life. I think you’re incredibly talented and inspiring. Don’t change!!
Oh Tiffany,
If you have read my blog recently, you will see that I am having some similar issues. Some of our own family (my husband’s to be exact) have taken up issue with the fact that I always have bad things to say on my blog… that I am always negative and down and rarely have anything good to say… It has gotten to a boiling point at our house and over the past few weeks, Chris and his family had a huge falling out (don’t worry, they weren’t close to begin with)… he told them that my blog is for ME and that if they didn’t like to read it, they didn’t have to.
I blog for me. I blog about my family. I blog to express my feelings- To build a collection of memories for my family. So that one day, we can look back and understand where we were at certain points in our lives. I do hope that it provides the people who follow my blog, incite into how we live and what we deal with on a day to day basis. I hope that it helps people understand, a little more, about what Cody goes through and what it does to our family. My blog IS me. It isn’t someone I am trying to be- someone I don’t know. I am proud of the person that I am… proud of the situations, struggles, hardships that my family and I have overcome. Yes, sometimes my feeling, emotions, thoughts are harsh and painful…. sometimes it seems like I have entry after entry where something is wrong… let’s face it- a lot of the time we’ve got stuff going on and most of the time it revolves around something that isn’t “great”.
Tiffany, you keep on blogging honey. Blog for YOU. Take the good and ignore the bad. No one but YOU knows what you are going through and NO ONE can tell you that what you say or do is wrong. “People” just don’t it and sometimes it really sucks. I wish that we could make people understand, place them into our lives for a week or two… see how they come through. I know and you know that things could always be worse but sometimes it is overwhelming to live with special needs… it doesn’t just effect one person, it effects the entire family.
I never would have had the opportunity to meet someone as wonderful as you and your family if it weren’t for blogging. My kids (who are writing letters and drawing pictures for their new pen pals) wouldn’t have friends on the other side of world who can relate to what we go through.
Keep on blogging about whatever you are feeling! Your blog is you, for you and for the people who love you and try to relate to and understand what you are going through! Keep your chin up!
I love you! You friend in Texas, Nicole!
What Jules, Treacy and Marilyn said. Much like, well, ANYTHING, if someone does not like what they are reading, watching, looking at, they can, oh I don’t know, STOP READING, STOP WATCHING, STOP LOOKING. No need to get all pissy on someone else’s pain/grief/frustration/joy etc. People are stupid a lot of the time. Keep doing what you need to.
Tiff, i want to read about YOU, your heart, your struggles. I love you and your blog…don’t sugar coat. you are wonderful as you are! xoxox
My dear sweet Tiff-
I beg you to keep your blog going just the way you want, please don’t leave and please don’t censor your posts. This is your home, your comfort place. It’s like someone coming to your home and being an inconsiderate asshole causing a ruckus instead of being a gracious guest. They can fuck off. You deserve better. I’m so angry that anyone would bash you, lash out at you and say anything negative. Unfortunately, the internet being an open forum, you also expose yourself to the lowest form of scum who seeks to hurt to make themselves feel superior. Those trolls are disgusting, but quitting or changing what you do allows them to win. Be strong, if you feel weak somedays, take strength from those of us here who love you and love hearing about your ups and downs, your triumphs and your pitfalls and your amazing family. I think about you and follow you daily, because I know you have a beautiful photo or profound words that squeeze my heart. I wish I could be closer, bring you a shoulder to lean on, give you a hug when you need one. I feel your pain when you hurt and I feel your pride when you brag and I hope you know how much you have touched me. I am grateful that you have this little space of yours here on the internet, please keep blogging.
Love and hugs from Chicago.
Liz
You are my favorite blog…not special needs mummy blog…not photography blog…but human blog! You are real, and your posts are beautiful.
And my favorite feature of all my comments is the delete button! If I don’t like a comment I just delete it. I wouldn’t allow someone in my home that is ugly to me or to my child, so I don’t need them in my online space either!
Hey, this is YOUR blog and YOUR therapy. You write whatever you want. Those who do not like it don’t have to read it. Write on girlie. I feel your pain too.
Yesterday you saw the beautiful side of people with Dayna, today you have seen the uglier side. People are good and bad — just have to accept this and move on with your life as you see fit.
Luv Kathleen in Memphis
(((HUGS))) my friend
Let me add my support too -I love reading here, where there’s emotions, love and learning.
Sorry to hear about AJ’s finger -he must be down about that too.
Big virtual hug. You are a wonderful blogger. If you can’t be real here, then where can you?
My first thought was “Fu** them!” It’s not your job to cater to what others think you should be putting on your blog. It’s your space, you go right ahead and communicate exactly what is on your mind. You didn’t get the huge following you have by being somebody other than exactly who you are.
It’s your blog, tell them to bugger off if they don’t like it. I’ll always read it. xx
I have loved you for so many yesterdays. I love you today. I hope to love you for many, many tomorrows. The way I figure it, just ONE of me has to make up for a whole bunch of those hateful idiots out there. I wish I could clone myself and make up for all of ‘em.
I think negative comments just mean you’ve “made it” in the blogging world. As sad as that is.
Tall poppy syndrome and all that. I don’t think I’ve ever had a negative comment – pretty sure that means I haven’t “made it”. Guess it’s not all glitz and glammor at the top. Hang in there Tiff and remember why you blog in the first place.