Once upon a time,

in a land not so far away (well, far away for some of you),

lived a princess named Ivy.

She ruled the land with a fair and even hand.

Okay, she didn’t really

and the people of the land would argue with the above statement

until they were blue in the face

but

it sounded good.

Anyway,

the princess declared that the castle be decorated

as Christmas was near.

So all of the pretty, shiny ornaments were pulled from the royal shed and the tree dusted off

and the abode suitably decked out in all things celebratory of the season.

It was beeee - you - ti - ful.

There was a mystery in the kingdom though.

Two of the ornaments were often missing.

Two wire trees.

Often the royal servants would find them hidden somewhere

or

trip over them.

One day

a chamber maid discovered it was the princess removing the trees.

The princess!

The chamber maid replaced them

but the little princess was often found carting them away again.

“but why?” asked the maid, confused.

“I just don’t luff the wobbly trees” the princess replied.

The chamber maid could not argue with that

and so there is no end to this story (at least not until the end of the Christmas season)

because

to this very day the wobbly trees still offend the little princess.