Some days are just big.
You know?
Defining moments.
I don’t write about Lily very much here.
I don’t because,
well, because she is such an easy going kid.
An everyday, average kid
and
I’m sorry to say,
she
blends.
With all of the other strong personalities living in the house sometimes Lily is the last one to be heard.
Somedays not so much but mostly
she just is.
I’m not saying that she is any less important or that I love her any less than any of the others because that is not the case at all.
She has a gorgeous quirky spirit and I am lucky to be her Mum.
The thing is
when you are the blending, background kind of child sometimes
you get left behind
and there is my defining moment.
I never meant it to be that way
but
sometimes
it just is.
Yesterday,
after IVIG had been infused into the little girl, entirely too fast
and the side effects started early
and I came home with one screaming preschooler
and was then loved on by every other member of the family so much so that I could not think straight,
my middle girl quietly cuddled into me,
amongst the crying and the loud conversation and the noise of the house
(which was insanely loud for 5pm).
She asked one question
and that was to enquire if she could possibly have the day off from school the following day.
I instantly retorted in the negative
and when I looked down into her face,
she was crying
big soft tears filling her eyes and splashing onto her cheeks.
It took my breath away.
She looked so sad.
I asked what the matter was
and she told me
that she would not be allowed to run for school leader because she had not gained enough points for a gold medal.
The point system is based on behaviour and homework and she was five points from the goal
and in that instant
I knew
I had totally let her down -
because she is not the squeaky wheel and
because I have been so caught up with Ivy
I haven’t balanced things well at all.
I can write a letter and plead her case
but I’m not sure it’s the right thing to do.
Some lessons are hard
and I think we’ve both learnt something valuable.
I need to pay more attention,
so my Lily in the middle doesn’t get left behind
and she needs to be responsible for her life and work to her goals
but today
she’s having the day off
and we are going to spend time together.
