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3am

I’m sitting here.

Dave is asleep to my left

and to my right

is the one I’m keeping vigil with.

On Tuesday, after almost three months

of Ciproxin

with varying results;

resistant growth,

belly aches,

diarrhoea

and blister outbreaks

the paediatritian declared the Cipro to have failed.

He conceded that it was more trouble than it was worth and to cease the medication

and so I did.

There was no back up plan, other than watch and wait,

no IV antibiotic  to prevent the inevitable -

we were told we would have to wait for the next crisis.

We knew it would come, I guess, I was not expecting it to be this soon

and so now I am watching;

as the pseudomonas takes over once more -

a goopy, disgusting ear and conjunctivitis for good measure (probably also pseudomonal – it happens like that)

her temperature through the roof, her heart pounding at an alarming rate

and I’m waiting for business hours so that we can call the doctor.

I’m tempted to pick her up now and make the hour long drive into the hospital.

She is sleeping though (albeit fitfully) and sleep is healing .

There is no sleep for me though,

not tonight.

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21 Responses to “3am”

  • MissyBoo (34 comments.):

    Hugs honey. Why do these things always get worse out of business hours? Poor little mite – I hope some helpful solution can be found in the morning xoxox

  • Marylin (120 comments.):

    Oh hun, so sorry to hear this. Hope you can find something to get rid of this bloody psuedomonas for good. xxx

  • Amber Schmidt (44 comments.):

    Tiff… many prayers for all of you. You know… just yesterday I decided I would NOT accept these horrible things in my life and for YOU I do not accept it either… I will pray until I have no voice left in me. Prayers for complete healing for no more pain for grace and peace. Unending prayers.

  • Tricia (117 comments.):

    I am praying for you and your baby girl.

  • Hyphen Mama (316 comments.):

    NONONONO! It’s just not fair. But you know that. Sending healing vibes to little Ivy.

  • trish (487 comments.):

    (hugs) and healing vibes, their birthday and the next IVIG can’t come quick enough to stop this cycle.

  • lceel (354 comments.):

    I feel so frustrated .. I can only imagine what it must be like for you. And Ivy. *LOVE* and *HUGS*.

  • Kim (frogpondsrock) (61 comments.):

    Things always look their blackest at 3 am. I have just read your tweets so I know that you both made it through the night.Good luck with sorting something out today sweety. Lots of LOVE and healing energy to you both xox

  • Amy:

    :(
    Hope there’s a treatment plan for her today. Hope you both get some relief soon. xx

  • Tash:

    Oh Tiff – my thoughts and prayers are with you all. Wishing Ivy a healing sleep… hang in there love.

  • Super Sarah:

    Thinking of you and Ivy girl EXTRA hard today. Willing those bugs to leave her alone.

  • Darnonymous (26 comments.):

    Just sending lots of positive thoughts your way.

  • peskypixies (99 comments.):

    its always worse at night.

    sending healing thoughts and loving hugs.

  • Bri (53 comments.):

    *hugs*

    You are all in my thoughts

  • Kathy (26 comments.):

    Oh no, I’m so sorry to hear this. Hoping something changes positively for Ivy soon.

  • Veronica (102 comments.):

    How did you go love? Did she make it to the morning?

  • Kathleen (51 comments.):

    I’m so sorry to hear this baby is hurting and sick again. Hugs and prayers for Ivy (and you too). Let us know what they say please.

  • jeanie (159 comments.):

    Darl – how was it not working if this is the not having it outcome?

    I hope something is found soon for your baby girl.

  • katef (193 comments.):

    thinking of you guys…

  • river:

    “Temperature through the roof, heart pounding at an alarming rate..” and you’re waiting for business hours??? Hate me if you will, but I’m quite cross with you reading this. I know it’s hard organising things at a moment’s notice, but get to the hospital! I hope you are there by the time you read this, and that Ivy is now feeling much more comfortable…..

  • Barbara (156 comments.):

    Oh no, I’m so sorry. I hope she’s well again very soon. My thoughts and prayers are for you.

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