On the weekend, I found out that one of the boys, who had moved in next door, died from a drug overdose.

He might have lived, except that his so called mates waited 20 minutes before they dumped him at the local hospital.

They were worried they would be arrested, because they were all high on cocaine.

I remember the police crawling all over the place.

The house was evacuated shortly after and put on the market.

I hope the next people to move in are quieter.

I mean, I’m sorry that the boy had to die, I’m sorry for his parents

but the truth is

my first thought was

that there were drug addicts living next door to my kids.

Last night I found out that the father, of one of the few families who made us feel welcome, when we moved out here, to the boonies, had been beaten and left to die on the side of the road, about 10kms from our town.

My kids play with their kids.

His wife came to William’s funeral, even though we had only moved in less than six months before that.

These are good people.

He’s in a coma, apparently beaten around the head and cut, over eleven times.

Nobody has any leads.

I felt so sad for this family and what they are facing and what they will need to face

but,

in all honesty,

I was also trying to remember why we moved here in the first place.

I need a holiday.

Seriously.

I am starting to feel quite desperate about it

and thinking up ways to borrow large amounts of money so I can escape.

Ivy’s health is all over the shop and somedays the stress is overwhelming.

I hauled the family out, late on Sunday, so we could watch a cruise ship depart the harbour, over an hour from our home.

In my mind, a cruise would be the ideal vacation for all of us.

It actually turned out to be a lovely night

but I’ll admit

it was because I wanted to encourage David to borrow obscene amounts of money that I dragged him there.

There is no way that we will ever be able to afford a cruise.

I do know that

but, you know

dreams are the goals of tomorrow and all that.

The girls gave me a serious awakening this morning, though,

when I discovered that they had neglected to give me notes for an excursion,

which cost $31

That’d be $93 all up because I’ve got three of them in the same year.

When I asked them about it

they said they didn’t want to go

because they knew I couldn’t afford that kind of money.

Oof

and so today

I am going to try

to be content with my little life

and make the best of what I have.

I’m going to be thankful that I have a large house, that fits all of us in,

that I live in a town where people care about what happens in the community.

I am going to hug my husband and be thankful that he comes home at night.

I will ground myself and try to forget about going on holidays

and think of new, affordable ways to alleviate stress.

I will try to be less selfish.