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Torn.

July 12, 2009 | Author Tiff

noahkissesweb

I hate leaving them.

I love being at home, with the warm fire and the comfortable old lounge.

ajchippyweb

I love the noise.

immyanddaveweb

I love the big wet kisses from the smallest boy and the easy flow of words from the other kids.

lilybelleweb

Waking up to smiling faces and stories about trucks and aeroplanes and hearing all about their dreams.

malmayweb

I miss them when I’m here

but

I hate being away from her too.

I feel like a part of me is missing when I’m not with her.

hospitalivyweb

I hate feeling torn.

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Posted in coping, Daily life, family, Health, illness | Tags: , , , ,

23 Responses to “Torn.”

  • Blossom (102 comments.):
    July 12, 2009 at 19:10

    oh hon,
    of course you feel torn……..you are a mother and I guess the guilt comes with the territory.

    lots of hugs and love

  • Marylin (120 comments.):
    July 12, 2009 at 19:10

    Oh sweety, it really is a catch 22 isn’t it?

    ((huge hugs)) xx

  • M & B:
    July 12, 2009 at 19:22

    Thinking of you, honey. But cannot come up with any solutions to help you not feel torn xoxox

  • SquiggleMum (28 comments.):
    July 12, 2009 at 19:27

    Still praying.
    xx

  • Alison (141 comments.):
    July 12, 2009 at 19:40

    Sticky tape?

    Sorry. I got nothing.

    ((hugs))

  • Lilprecious:
    July 12, 2009 at 20:56

    The many emotions of motherhood…
    Hoping and praying that you and Ivy will be home soon…

  • Veronica (623 comments.):
    July 12, 2009 at 21:14

    (((hugs)))

    Putting Amy to bed tonight, she snuggled me and said ‘Amy is your baby?’ I replied ‘Yes, Amy is my baby.’ She snuggled closer, looked at me and said ‘I love you Mum.’

    Relevance? None. I just thought I’d share. I love your photos.

  • sunnyroadmum (23 comments.):
    July 12, 2009 at 21:42

    I so wish you didn’t have to feel so pulled in different directions. ((hugs)) xoxo

  • Brenda (45 comments.):
    July 12, 2009 at 22:02

    oh Tiff…sending all my warm and fuzzies to you. You’re a great mum and your kids know that! And I know in my heart that they want you to stay and make everything better for their baby sister.xxxxx

  • Xbox4NappyRash (314 comments.):
    July 12, 2009 at 23:37

    beautiful words & pictures, terrible situation.

  • Barbara (156 comments.):
    July 13, 2009 at 01:33

    It’s awful. The boy was only briefly in hospital but all the time I was with him I wanted to be with the girl and the husband and when I spent some time out with the girl I just wanted to be with the boy. I don’t think there is a solution, other than having everyone move into hospital with you. I’m so sorry.

  • maiden53 (10 comments.):
    July 13, 2009 at 03:30

    Sorry, Tiff. I love your pics! I get the missing the “noise”… not “noise” to us at all, is it? :-) It is more like music!

    You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you get to go home soon!

  • Jeanette (275 comments.):
    July 13, 2009 at 05:35

    It’s so very crap that you even have to choose! Hope you both get home soon

  • frogpondsrock (275 comments.):
    July 13, 2009 at 07:13

    I am here I just don’t have any words…

  • Mum:
    July 13, 2009 at 08:54

    Yes, it’s an awful feeling but not much longer before you can feel together & whole again. Let’s hope this time, you won’t need to feel this way again. Great photos! as always. xoxo

  • Jennette:
    July 13, 2009 at 09:05

    So hearbreaking. My heart really goes out to you and your family.

    HUGS

  • Danielle (117 comments.):
    July 13, 2009 at 11:51

    I am crying for you. I hate leaving one of them behind. It is so hard. I can’t imagine having more than the two. I am thinking about you and praying that this time around is quick. When are they going to do the Port?

  • river:
    July 13, 2009 at 19:27

    I understand you feeling torn, but maybe this is the last time? Great photos.
    P.S. I hate sloppy wet kisses, I always made my kids kiss my cheek.

  • Fe (1 comments.):
    July 13, 2009 at 21:38

    Oh Tiff… stunning pics…. I can’t imagine how awful it is to be so torn.

    ((((( big hugs ))))))) xoxoxox

  • Suzie (65 comments.):
    July 14, 2009 at 01:23

    How hard. IM so sorry you all have to go through this

  • Lamia (2 comments.):
    July 14, 2009 at 01:49

    First of all I’d like to say that I am 16, and that I follow this blog religiously. It sometimes hurts my heart, but usually it makes me smile becuase the story unfolding before me is so full of strength. My little sister just turned five and has had many health problems along the way. I’ve been away at college with my older sister and only see her occasionally, and so I understand what you’re feeling although in a very different way. I just wanted to tell you to hang in there, I’m praying for you and Ivy and the whole family :) God Bless.

  • Hyphen Mama (316 comments.):
    July 14, 2009 at 05:01

    I love that first photo! I love all of them, but the first is precious beyond words.

    My heart aches for you!

  • Kelley @ Magnetoboldtoo (239 comments.):
    July 14, 2009 at 10:39

    there are no right words to say in a situation like this, so I will say nothing.

    Wait…

    Never mind.

    Smootches sweetie.

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