I love this photo.

Even though she is sick and I can see it, even though I know that less than a week later we have landed ouselves in the hospital with the (rather rapid) downturn in Ivy’s health.

Even though I know that we are in here for a good seven days, at least and that it’s school holidays and I am missing my other kids, who are also not entertaining the best of health.

Even though, at the time of taking this photo it was the last I felt relaxed and happy and I am feeling all miserable and sorry for myself now.

I love it

because

when I look at it I see

a little girl who never gives up,

who can still find happiness in simple pleasures.

I love it because it is the photo that is going to keep me going

until I can take another one just like it but a little different.

In the next one, you won’t see those red feverish cheeks.

You won’t see that stressed little face.

There will just be my girl, doing one of her favourite things, happy and healthy

and if you look just a little bit closer, you might see a small lump under her collarbone

where the port will be sitting.