Archive for February 2009
My daughter’s keeper.
Morning comes fresh and new.
Pinky purpley oranges seep in through my window and kiss the sheets with light.
A small breeze flows in and out, the wind taking its first deep breaths for the day.
Two bodies lie with me, intertwined in bedclothes and each other.
The boy’s face is relaxed and round.
He sleeps heavily, in anticipation for the day of running, jumping and playing that will fill up his hours.
He reserves his energy for the constant babbling – questions and statements that will give me pause, make me laugh and leave me frustrated.
His lips upturned with dreams that I imagine are filled with diggers and trains and racing cars (and maybe a teaparty or two with his sisters).
I stroke his blonde bristly spikes and think about how lucky I am to have this second chance with a son.
The girl is never restful in sleep, she tosses and turns and cries out most nights.
At this stage of the month, her slumber is fitful and her skin takes on the pale glow of the not quite healthy and the not quite healed.
Her last few days have been full of tears and aches and pains that I cannot see and somehow, cannot soothe.
She looks small in the oversized bed, her too big nightie swirling about her in pinks and greens and tiny white flowers.
It coils around her body like her curls that encompass her face, fully and softly.
I touch her cool cheek and think about how lucky I am that we have modern medicine to help, else her future not be as bright as it is.
My usual sleeping partner is long gone, his leave a dim memory in the early morning darkness. My words familiar, yet distant, with callings of driving safely and love you’s.
I am still tired and I know this day will be long.
All my days in the last week before infusion day are but if I am to make the most of it, I have to rise early and wash and clean and prepare, so I can be at her disposal.
The ebb and flow of tending to a well child and one who is not can be exhausting.
It just seems it has to be this way for now, three weeks of great and one week of terrible.
There are talks of higher or more frequent doses to even things out
but in this week, before the IVIG, I am most definitely my daughter’s keeper.
In between.
No longer my little girl.
Not yet a woman.
She’s just caught somewhere in between.
See all the wonderful entries for the theme of Black & White at I Heart Faces.
Weekly Winners.
It’s Sunday again.
Can you believe it?
Weekly Winners was created by Lotus.
You can see all of the wonderful participants over at her blog.
I didn’t take alot of photos this week and what I did take were nothing to write home about. You see, the beauty of doing a photography course is the steep learning curve and the fact that you are stepping outside of your comfort zone, in trying new things, like pushing your dial to “M” and having to dial up iso and shutter speed and f. stop. The bad thing about doing a photography course is that because you are out of your comfort zone, your photos are awful. I think I prefer “P” mode and just playing with iso myself. I certainly lack confidence having to think the f. stop out but we live and we learn, right?
Anyway, on with the show…
More evidence of boys and girls co existing.
Noah was quite upset that Ivy had put the flowery hat on his Thomas. He carried on a treat.
“No, Ivy! Thomas doesn’t wear a pretty hat!”
Ivy would whisk the hat off the funnel and dance away. As soon as Noah wasn’t looking, it was back on. When I asked her why Thomas had a hat on, her reply was – “So he doesn’t get sunburnt”.
Of course.
I love having a husband who works for Canon. He was able to borrow a fixed lens with a 1.2 f stop
All of these photos were taken at night (hence all the sleeping people) with nothing but a bedside lamp for lighting. No flash.
Amazing.
Wedded bliss.
Tucked in for the night…well, at least until 11pm, when she makes her nightly trek into my bed.
This is a terrible photo but I love the way they sleep. She is using his tummy for a pillow and he has his legs and arms always touching her.
The big girls used to be the same, in their early twin years.
Heart, hands and stomach.
This morning, we were pretending to be policemen.
This is their “Starsky & Hutch” look.
Move along, nothing to see.
His future’s so bright…
Last night we went to a) my first 40th and b) my first ever cocktail party.
This is a self portrait of me with the birthday girl, Liz.