I didn’t get anything that I wanted or hoped for.

None of the material things that were on my  mental wishlist.

I wanted white lights for William’s tree.

I wanted flowers to take up to his grave.

I wanted a new patchwork quilt.

I wanted a Blackberry.

What I did get was seven smiling faces,

lunch with my mum,

pampered by my big girls,

lots of laughs, watching the little twins on their Wheelybugs,

and two special moments.

The first when Mum gave me a new windchime from William

and the second was the day after when we were leaving my in law’s house.

I thought my mother in law had chosen not to remember her grandson.

I honestly thought it, as I made my way to the bus to go home but just as we reached the top of the driveway, she called out to me.

She pointed to a small row of purpley - pink flowers.

“I planted them on Christmas Eve,” she explained. “They’re called Sweet William”

and even though I didn’t get any of the ‘things’ that I’d asked for, what I received was so much more

and I felt like all my Christmases had come at once.