This waiting for the doctor to call back is getting to me.

Last week he was on call for two hospitals and was run off his feet.

Exhausted and unable to get back to us.

So it was this week that I was hoping to talk to him about the girl and what the deal is with her heart and her lungs.

This week that I wanted to tie him down to a commitment of pre medication for the next lot of IVIG because he won’t be here for that one, just like the last.

He is the specialist medical officer and he needs to order the meds.

Nobody else can or will.

He will be away for the first fortnight in November but it is during those weeks that Ivy and Noah have their pre school orientation and the kindy staff are already balking at Ivy’s situation and wanting medical plans from the paed. So, I was hoping that he would be able to help me out on those issues too…

and of course the girl is sick.

Her ear is discharging and she has a cough. She is pale and, you know, looks like she does just before she goes downhill and her heart rate is high  and I am watching and waiting and hoping that it will resolve itself, without frantic dashes to the emergency department. (work IVIG, work!)

There are a couple of things I wanted to run by him like why she has coughed up blood over the last two days and if this is something to do with the medications or something entirely different. 

 Maybe her ears, her nose, her throat?

Maybe her lungs?

Maybe I should just stop thinking.

He hasn’t called though, the paed.

The fear and frustration is slowly creeping in.

I am fighting it.

I am.

It’s hard though.

When I was just starting down the track with the Ivy girl’s issues, a doctor (maybe our paed, I can’t remember now) told me I was being over protective because I had had a neonatal death. Back then I was angry but maybe that doctor was onto something. Maybe I do get uptight because I have watched my baby die and I don’t want anything to happen to any of my others.

*sigh*

It’s Friday now.

So I am guessing this week for answers is a bust.