Mothers are not allowed to say that their daughters have put on weight
but they worry about the consequences and they are blamed for it, whether they say something or not.
If you mention that the girl has added a few kilos, you get tears and death stares for not loving her just as she is, for not supporting your very own words that ‘everyone comes packaged differently’ and because you are the pot calling the kettle black.
If you don’t mention it, you get tears and angry words because you didn’t say anything and you didn’t do anything to help the girl lose weight ie: let her go on a diet. Anger is directed towards you because you are not of slender physique and this has obviously been passed down through genetics.
It’s a lose/ lose situation when you are the mother of the pre teen girl.
Posted on July 25th, 2008 by Tiff
Filed under: motherhood, pre teen angst
How could you do this to the poor girl?
Tiff, seriously…
;0)
Yeah - meanie!
(And double meanie… Because I am having cold sweats imagining my 3 as pre teens..)
Which child is complaining of weight issues? They all look fine to me. Mind you, one of them did eat her own body weight in junk food last week…
Besides, every problem our kids ever have will be our fault, don’tcha know?
Your girls are all beautiful. I will brook no thoughts to the contrary. And you can tell them that.
This trait is not exclusive to girls.
OMG, I can’t believe it all starts so early. Those girls are fabulous, sassy, gorgeous, generous and sweet-natured. And so beautiful.
One day she’ll regret the horrid stuff she says to you. And one day the teen angst will all be over.
In the meantime, use those meditative techniques you’re so good at - ‘Calm blue ocean’, isn’t it?
Mothers can’t win for loosing. Oldest is only 5 and I worry about this all the time as I myself am over weight. The only thing I could do for her is teach her good eating habits and feign love for my own body. So far so good.
Seriously, youth is so wasted on the young!
We’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t, Tiff.
If you were stick thin you’d be guilty of not pouring your super-model genes into your kids, so don’t fret.
All mothers are Evil, don’t ya know ?
Isn’t that just the biggest commentary on the relationship between mother and child as child reaches that between child/adult phase. Nothing is right. It’s just terrible.
Good news is that she’ll grow out of it!!! In a few years! Good luck in the meantime!
ICLW
I remember these conversations with my mom!!! So I totally understand - just now when I have to go thro it it the shoe will be on the other foot!
I don’t want to be the mother of a pre-teen girl. I think I shall quit at age 7.
Oy. Chalk it up to hormones, Tiff — you’re doing a fabulous job, truly. I must say that I find myself vigorously nodding my head along with Veronica’s comment…
You’ll laugh at this when they’re in their twenties. Of course that’s not much help now………
Perhaps you can change meal plans without being too obvious. You know, larger portions of fruit and veg, smaller portions of desserts, snacks. No pastry at all. (pastry is probably the most fattening thing there is, and the yummiest)
Oh I find I can shut up and still have the world saying things to hurt my daughter’s esteem - so I am in the lucky position of her not yet being pre-teen.
I remember 14. That was the worstest year. I have 6 years before I see a replay.
Oh - you think its just when she’s a pre-teen! My mother and I still have the weight conversation and I’m nearly 40! I am shuddering to think how I’ll deal with my daughter…