I’ll have the house salad, thanks.

Take one Mummy, confine her to the laundry.

Get into her ribbon stash (that another chef has neglected to pack away) and pull Every. Single. Ribbon from its roll and call it ‘pasta’.

Take scrapbooking cardboard flowers (hundreds of the little suckers) from the back room, sprinkle a few into the ‘bowl’ you have aquired from the plastics cupboard and the rest (read majority) onto the floor for creative effect(an important part of being a successful chef).

Shred rediscovered tissue paper, from birthdays past, into tiny little pieces and declare them ‘lettuce’. Place a handful into the bowl and the rest can go on the floor.

Mix heartily.

Present to Mummy in the laundry.

For added effect, try to stuff some of the ribbon ‘pasta’ right to the back of her craw, until she gags.

Proceed to sing The Wiggles ‘Fruit Salad’ (yummy, yummy) song at the top of your lungs (to drown out the tears when the Mummy discovers the aftermath) and ask innocently ‘What’s wrong, Mummy?’ when she falls to the floor sobbing.

After pretending to feed the Mummy the concoction for a large part of the morning, proceed to fight over lengths of  ‘pasta’ that you want made into tails, because you are now horses. (Of course it is vitally important that you both have the same piece of ribbon).

In true executive chef style, throw a hissyfit when asked to clean up your ‘creative’ mess.

This is how you make “house salad”.

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Comments

  1. Quote
    Xbox4NappyRash (112 comments.) (subscribed) said June 3, 2008, 7:09 am:

    Such creativity, wonderful to see, should be encouraged if you ask me….

  2. Quote
    Widdle Shamrock (43 comments.) said June 3, 2008, 7:39 am:

    Awww, sounds wonderfully messy, yummy and fun.

  3. Quote
    Fiona (subscribed) said June 3, 2008, 8:07 am:

    Omg thats soooo funny!

  4. Quote
    Alison (3xkewl) (42 comments.) said June 3, 2008, 8:36 am:

    Can we come and eat at your house?
    lol - very cute.

  5. Quote
    hbacmama (7 comments.) said June 3, 2008, 9:00 am:

    Excuse me?
    What are you doing with my life?
    And the clothes I lovingly hung up outside… taken down and trampled so as to wash them again… yeah, the joys are abound here too.
    Raising a glass of something stronger than my iced tea to you later on tonight.
    Cheers.

  6. Quote
    Mad Squirrel (3 comments.) said June 3, 2008, 9:13 am:

    What no picture? My oldest had a toliet paper fest when he was 2years old and it was not confined to the bathroom or to just one roll. Noooooooo, he found the 12 pack and while mom was doing homework he decorated the bath, hall, And 3 bedrooms. Remember that she tried to make you happy and what is more precious than a child trying to make their parents happy. Kiss her, hug her, and explain why we don’t do it again. Than go turn up some music and scream in the bathroom!

  7. Quote
    Suze (19 comments.) said June 3, 2008, 10:51 am:

    Sounds like an awful mess, but oh-so-creative and fun!

    P.S. I’ll email you in a day or so about the background/upgrade thingy, and see if I can get it done this weekend - I have a couple of extra days off - woohoo!

  8. Quote
    Jayne (127 comments.) said June 3, 2008, 11:41 am:

    I want your chef!
    Pasta that doubles as horse tails???
    Brilliant!
    You could make a fortune :P

  9. Quote
    Lightening (25 comments.) said June 3, 2008, 11:49 am:

    Very cute!!!! I can understand the frustration though. :)

  10. Quote
    Bettina (90 comments.) said June 3, 2008, 11:55 am:

    I bet it was a pretty salad though.

    Kids, can’t live with em, can’t keep them tied up under the house ;)

  11. Quote
    Karen MEG (19 comments.) said June 3, 2008, 1:08 pm:

    Sounds like a very healthy salad :)

  12. Quote
    Krista (10 comments.) said June 3, 2008, 1:15 pm:

    At times it’s the combination of all the little things that make for the worst days. I hope tomorrow is much better!

  13. Quote
    Veronica (229 comments.) said June 3, 2008, 2:21 pm:

    I wonder how many calories it had…

  14. Quote
    river said June 3, 2008, 3:29 pm:

    Creative little buggers aren’t they? Wonder where they get that from? I’m truly happy that Ivy is well enough to play like this. I hope she stays that way for a while. For a loooooong while. Say about 60-70 years……….

  15. Quote
    frogpondsrock (69 comments.) said June 3, 2008, 9:11 pm:

    Ribbon Salad Yummy Yummy.

    LMAO xxx Kim

  16. Quote
    Childlife (121 comments.) said June 4, 2008, 7:17 am:

    Oh, thanks for the much needed laugh, Tiff! Where’s the photographic documentation? LOL! Hilarious! :D What I want to know is why the little stinkers typically insist on serving house salad AND house soup at the same sitting? Why? Why?? WHY????

    P.S. (I know a little girl with a flair for peanut butter, if the salad didn’t fill you up… ;) )

  17. Quote
    Tracey (89 comments.) said June 4, 2008, 7:51 am:

    What? No pictures? You call yourself a blogger. Ha!

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