Comments on: On sickness, not going away and breaking point…

By: Kirstie

Kirstie — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 04:42:31 +0000

((HUGS))
I’ve only recently found your blog (My DD has ED so it caught my eye).
You have endured a lot, and have been incredibely strong, but you are allowed to have your off days.
I am “recovering” from Agoraphobia & Depression, so I know how awful and debilitating panic attacks are, and that awful feeling that gnaws at you from deep within a little too much.
Seek help now, and I agree with everyone else that says you need some time just for you.
I will be thinking of you.
Take Care xx

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 20:59:29 +0000

Reading this broke my heart for you. I wish you peace.

My mother suffers from panic attacks and I know that she tells me how frightening and debilitating they are. All of us have a breaking point, I’m sorry you’ve reached yours…I am certain you can find the strength to get through.

By: jeanie

jeanie — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 00:29:49 +0000

I have just started reading a book by Anne Deveson called “Resilience” - as I have only started it, I cannot give you the magical formula yet.

So I will just have to echo some people above - you are not alone, you are allowed to reach out and ask for help, you are allowed to feel challenged and know it is normal (okay, its a bit more than normal, really, the merde thrown at you).

I have a flotsam and jetsam theory about life sometimes - when your legs are knocked from under you, it is almost guaranteed that another of life’s waves will come and try to wash you away. You need to find something to cling to for the impact of the relentless waves to lessen - some people do that with family, some with love, some with God.

You have amazing love and are one fierce mother - I know that you are going through tough times at the moment and I wish the waves would stop, but you have some amazing tethers working with you.

Oh Blather on here, Jeanie. One quote from the book - “just because we are in the shit does not mean we have to lie down in it”. It takes great power to get through - give yourself credit that it is hard, but also give yourself the power - through digging deep or reaching out.

By: Casdok

Casdok — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 12:15:07 +0000

I know its hard but remember yourself.

By: Laura

Laura — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:08:52 +0000

Hey, I left you something over on my blog…come see when you get a chance!

By: Tracey

Tracey — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 03:44:37 +0000

Hi, just got 5 minutes on the ‘puter (yay!). Hugs from Sydney kiddo. Hang in there.

By: Kelley

Kelley — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 02:34:19 +0000

Girl, listen to me. You feel you are close to breaking point. You know you are close. Let yourself have a day. A day where you scream into the pillow it is not fair, why me and all the pent up feelings. Allow yourself to not be the strong one. You will find the strength again. But you need to release it.

You know I have been there. You have seen me there.

And you know that I am there for you.

By: Laura

Laura — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 00:35:36 +0000

I had a breaking point this week, too…(thank you for coming by and noticing!)..I think all moms have them at some point or another…I wish we didn’t feel so guilty about them, but then we moms end up feeling guilty about everything. Give yourself a break. Get some sleep if you can (amazing how sleep is the first thing to go!?!)….pamper yourself…love on your babies….enjoy your tootsie rolls!

Hugs…Laura

By: Liz

Liz — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 17:04:50 +0000

Tiff-
You are in my thoughts daily, although I don’t reach out to you as much as I should. I have been at the brink myself these days, and have questioned daily whether today will be the day that I hit “rock bottom” and there is nowhere to go but up. Each day seems to get filled with more badness that goes beyond the lowest low of the day before. I say this only to tell you that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! You have friends and family who love you and will support you no matter what. On the days you can’t bear it, take one look at your beautiful kids, they make everything worth it. The only thing that gets me through some days is to look into the bright face of my son, and think of what a treasure he is.

I will point out that some of what you are feeling might be compounded by the fact that you aren’t on meds anymore. I know that each time I decide go off them, once I am “clear-headed”, everything seems so extreme, the drama of life seems so overwhelming. I think that if anything, being on them takes the edge off. I’m not saying its a good or bad thing, but I can say for sure that bad things seem harder for me to deal with when I am off medication. Being on them offers a new, slightly blurred perspective

And, there’s nothing wrong with locking yourself in the bathroom (or whatever room you have with a lock) and having a good cry once in a while. Its cleansing, and does not mean you are a bad mom. You are only human, after all.

Hugs and love from around the world.
Liz

By: Betsy

Betsy — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 12:34:24 +0000

Sweet Momma,
Take one thing at a time. Ask for help and feel. William’s birthday is real, so feel it, grieve him, love him and know that there is a plan that is far greater than you and I will ever understand. It is all ok to feel. You have a lot going on - as if I need to tell you - just ride it. Be kind and gentle with yourself.

Regarding breaking points - we are still catching up from my being without a paycheck. I have made our financial goals even smaller than when I first went full time at my job. Our goal now is to not bounce any checks. Yesterday I was accosted by a very well meaning coworker about the tires on my car. They are B A L D, may as well be banana peels, it is another expense. I thought I would cry on the spot. Every phone call we get is from someone to whom we owe money. It is all just too much. And then I remember…we have enough. The kids are fed, happy and warm in their cozy beds. Our mortgage is paid, the rest can wait. We are a team, Jer and I together we will weather this storm.

So I know EXACTLY what you mean. Don’t doubt yourself as a Mum, you are a champion. I would imagine that just writing this post has made you feel a little better.

Hang on Sweet Momma we are all here cheering you on and we will be here to lift you up if you need!