Five things I sleep with on a regular basis these days…
Something light before I hit you with an Ivy update…
* Dummies. (No not that kind of dummy) Pacifiers, binkys, Wa - wahs, suckers. That kind of dummy. I will usually wake up with at least one plastered to my back, cheek or various other exposed body parts.
* Socks. Ok. What is it with socks? Sometimes the kids don’t even go to bed with socks on and yet, by morning it appears that, not only have socks found their way into my bedding, they have found some bizarre inanimate way to reproduce. Like rabbits, I tells ya!
* At least one other person, who isn’t my husband. Now gutter minds, I mean that in the cleanest sense. Once I even woke up to find Lily and Lily’s friend in bed with me. They had had a bad dream but I have no recollection of inviting them into the bed. None. Usually, it’s Ivy. If Noah comes in, it’s usually to wake me up and demand a ’shakey’.
Just on a tangent, this morning he was rolling around the bed, yowling to me that ‘he get up. NOW’. I asked him did he know what I wanted and his response was…’Yes. You get up too’.
Actually that wasn’t what I wanted but anyway.
* Various toys. Sadly not adult toys. “Ted” was in my bed this morning with his pants around his ankles. Does that count as an adult toy?
* Bodily fluids. Again, not the kind that many young 20 somethings would be thinking. I’m telling you right now, there is a miriad of bodily fluid that is in NO way related to sex and beds. Actually, now I think about it…
Spew, the great bed evacuator.
Urine, love that morning urine smell. Not.
And… other… stuff.
Let’s just say sometimes even the most robust night nappies cannot withstand the acid that is the Ivy - girl’s poo.
Yeah…I think I’ll leave it there.
Those are my socks. Sorry. It drives my husband crazy, too.
Hunting for the lost dummy under the squashed pillow of The Spouse and finding a dozen unmatched socks at the end of the bed was our usual morning routine lol.
Yep, I’ve found a few of those things in my bed as well. The bodily fluids are the worst. Getting woken up by a small person vomiting on you is the pits.
I once woke up to find my sister in law in between my husband and myself. she’d been sleeping on the fold out couch but got lonely so crawled in without waking either of us. For the next few years it was a steady parade of kids and toys just like you, with an occasional wet bed, but none of them ever vomited in my bed. They always messed up their own beds before crawling into mine.
….and the bruises. Don’t forget the bruises you are greeted with in the morning.
oh you make me feel so normal!
heheheehehe I am chuckling away here Tiff.. I woke up the other morning and the dog was on my feet and both cats had taken possession of my knees…
I think that I am in the twilight zone.. twixt children and grandchildren..
I miss the snuggles… but I don’t miss the sharp elbows and the bony knees. and I certainly don’t miss sleeping in 3 centimetres of bed, with a child sprawled sleeping, diagonally across myself…
I also don’t miss having a small child pat my face at three am whispering to me the words “mummy I feel siii….. ” and then covering me in vomit…
hehehehehehe I sleep alone…and I can kick the dog off and throw the cats outside….
kim
LOL - I know this too well - sounds like my bed - we have books too … waiting for the IVY update.
LMAO about “Ted”! Classic
Guess what? Go on guess? I have to sleep with approximately none of those things anymore.
I had to gate Amy’s door so that she would actually fall asleep. Now she refuses to sleep with the gate open. Means that I don’t get any night time visitors, although she is back to NOT sleeping through.