When I started nursing school, I purchased for my little nursey self a stethoscope. It has been invaluable.

Not at work but in the home.

When the asthmatics have asthma, it has helped me to push on longer before making the trek to the hospital. If I thought there was gastro coming, my trusty stetho was there to hear all the gurgles. It has survived many many things. It has essentially survive five children, six if you count Ivy but it did not survive being Noah - ised.  Noah sadly destroyed my beautiful old scope at the end of last year and I have been without one…until today.

Dave the wonder husband presented me with this;

Love it?

You want to touch it, don’t you?

Stroke it’s double lumen?

Yes.

It is on a fluffy pillow.

Yes.

It is flourescent pink.

The scope, not the pillow.

Bask in it’s glory.

Just thought I would slip it in here that we are off to St George Hospital tomorrow, yep all the way to the other side of Sydney again, to see the Pemphigus guru for Ivy. I am so nervous. I promise to give a full update of how the girl is progressing after that.

I was never the cool chick at school.

Ne - e - e - ver.

In fact, I was the opposite of cool.

I was the kid that everyone loved to hate.

Honestly.

Who can blame them, really? My fashion sense was laughable, I was fat, shy and dorky.

I mean, who wears a red smocked dress to their year six farewell, with white knee highs and cork heeled shoes and expect the coolest boy in school (Ahhh! Clinton Rose) to fall head over heels in love with you????

Nobody.

Except me.

I rest my case.

Anyhow, this inability to sit with any cliques has followed me through life. Highschool - I was in the reject group. You know, that group of girls who are together just because they’ve been kicked out of the other groups? Yep. I was their queen. I didn’t fit in at work (too young) I didn’t fit in at Uni (too old, had kids). In friendships, I have been able to make one really good, tell your deepest darkest secrets too, friend with each new area we moved into and thankfully most of them have come with when I make the  next move.

Now that I am online, I have noticed too, little cliques forming, in forums and even in blogging groups. Once again, I find myself not fitting in with any kind of niche. I don’t belong to any groups and I don’t have any groupies.

Once again, I can feel that old green eyed monster sneaking up on me, whispering in my ear. It’s not fair! Why doesn’t anybody wanna hang with the T - girl? (Pull out your violins, people, go on).

But… when I think about it, as in my real life, online, I have made some really good friends, some of whom I can divulge all those secrets and hurts and I am thankful.

So, do I care if I am not part of some inner circle? Hell yes  no, not really. I *think* I would rather a small group of good friends than being part of some blogging clique.

What about you? Do you wish you had a huge following? Do you desire the accolades of those more popular bloggers out there? Do you wish that some of those prom blog kings and queens would give you a side ways glance… just once, or are you happy to be bloggy nerd? Just askin’.