So, the day has arrived when Ivy is no longer allowed to eat food. She can only drink clear fluids and she must also have her two doses of  Picolax.

Ok, I can hear you all asking what Picolax is.

It is a mixture that one downs for… faecal evacuation, to cleanse the colon, to make sure there is not an ounce of poo left in the poor kid, so the good doctor’s scope doesn’t get browned.

Get the picture?

Good.

Now, imagine, if you will, a girl who has the most chronic, grossest diarrhoea known to man and then add Picolax.

Can anyone say bowel explosion? That is what comes to mind.

When I read that Picolax was on the menu I cringed, literally. If you google Picolax you will get, among other things, horror stories of adults who could have won Olympic sprinting, with the speed they needed to find a toilet, post ingestion.

When I worked on the medical wards… well, let’s not go there. I didn’t last very long because Picolax was a common ‘refreshment’ on the ward menu. Enough said, really.

So in summary;

clear fluids only,

Picolax x2 over six hours

Nil by mouth from midnight.

Prednisone (don’t forget the prednisone munchies)

Already has the worst diahrroea.

Does anyone think today is going to be a happy day?

Just in case you were wondering, here is a picture of what Ivy did to her Picolax instructions, right after I told her she couldn’t have a ‘nilla shakey.