First things first; thank you to everyone who offered to find some boots for my girl. Thank you for the suggestions. We found some. When I say we, I mean my mother found them. She even found them locally. I must get my clever genes from her 

Ivy Update

We went back to the dermatologist this morning. Ivy’s bottom is still not great. We thought we would be up for a biopsy today but we have decided to wait it out until after Christmas. The derm reg was fantastic, answered all my questions in detail and helped me to get my head around what might be going on with the little girl. Was empathetic, sympathetic, did not poo poo any of my concerns. Not once. He was interested in my thoughts on the situation of Ivy’s health. It was like he cared and even if he didn’t, he put on a great act. Thank you derm doctor. I can honestly say I feel better knowing we have a plan, at least for her bottom.

We had to go and have more bloods done. I hate that part.

Have you ever had to do it? With your baby, I mean. I have. I have done it alot with Imogen and now I am up to my 6th or 7th time with the Ivy - girl.

I used to cry with Immy until I figured it was distressing her more, having her mother sobbing along with the needle, so I learnt to control it. I’m good at it now. It’s something I have always been able to do when things get a little too stressy but doing it when it involves pain to your baby is a different story.

I vague it out. Go somewhere else. How can I describe it? It’s like not feeling anything, just a dead space inside. It’s weird but effective. It still hurts to see them being hurt, don’t get me wrong and I shake and take a while to collect myself afterwards but at least I can be strong when my baby needs me to be.

And she needed me to be.

After what seemed like forever the pathology tech had a rant in my face about how inconvenient this all was and some of it wouldn’t be back until the new year and then drew 4 vacutainers of blood and two syringes for a couple of serum samples. You know, just in case they didn’t get enough the first time.

She was very brave but Lord did she howl and my heart was smashed into a million trillion tiny pieces all over again. Poor little mite.

As we were walking out we saw the paed and he saw us too, I know he did. First, he tried to cross the road before our paths collided, then, when he figured that was too obvious he cast his eyes downward and walked briskly past us.

That’s when you know you have truly been blacklisted.

We have a follow up in two weeks, with biopsy at that stage if things are still not great.

Can I change my Christmas wish? All I want now is to get to the bottom of this. All I want is to be able to help her.